The Mack Feed

Simply Out of Principle

2011-06-29T19:19:00.000-07:00

I've decided to break my nearly two year silence and post today. I don't have anything in particular to share, but my how life has changed in such a short year and a half.

Yes, I'm married. Yes, I am a homeowner. Yes, we did the whole getting-a-puppy-instead-of-having-a-kid move. But that's not really what I want to talk about either.

Have you ever considered just how much the world really changes in such a short amount of time? Not just for you, but for everyone?

For me, obviously, life has changed enormously, but that's is what to expect with marriage. My parents went from settled in Ohio to preparing for the next adventure in their lives by the end of this year. Probably our last missionary child is out serving, my oldest brother is married and living in Texas (and he got there all on his own... sniff... he's growing so old!), my sister went from China to Provo and now to Seattle.

The world is rid of bin Laden, still dealing with Obama, car companies suddenly know how to make fuel efficient cars... I think the one that hasn't really changed is that the economy still sucks.

I've lost a few friends... gained a few more... going back on my vow to never enter school again by looking at Masters programs...

I dunno! It's just weird when I look at my old posts and look at my life now and realize what a different place that world I lived in was. And now that I'm here, I am going to rededicate myself to this blog. Even if, at this point, I'm back to being it's only reader... that's okay. I need to entertain myself as much as the next guy!

Until then... remember to breathe!

Making the Right Choice

2009-12-18T20:16:00.001-08:00

You know when your mind starts to wander... and 10 minutes later you try to figure out how you went from "What should I eat for dinner?" to "I wonder what kind of fish are in that creek?"

Life can be the same way. One minute you're wandering around aimlessly, then out of the blue, you make one choice and everything clicks.

It's hard to explain how it happens. It's hard to remember what event led to the next. But that one choice changes your life forever, and when you look back, you wondering how you got there.

I've been extraordinarily blessed in my life by this phenomenon. Just when I think I'm wandering into an endless "stream of consciousness", I'm suddenly right where I wanted, and needed, to be.

The setting: a beautiful June day. My wonderful mother was in town on her way home to Ohio by way of Boise, where she spent a week or so babysitting my little nephew, Carson. It happened to be the same night as our weekly church softball practice. As the team captain, I was a little conflicted, but thought, "Mom isn't exactly in town all the time," and decided to skip out.

But something didn't seem right. I kept second guessing myself. Mom was running late, work was stressful, and the burden of abandoning my "responsibility" weighed on me.

So I changed my mind.

I told my mom and brothers I'd only be about 30 minutes late... just show up, get things going, and then take off. Little did I know my life was about to change.

You're probably laughing at me right now. What in the world is so amazing about going to a practice? After all, in the infamous words of Allen Iverson, "Practice? We're talking about practice. Not a game. Practice!"

Well, it's not every practice where you meet one of the most fascinating, astonishing, incredible, and beautiful creations to ever grace God's green earth.

I was warming up my arm when I saw her. Walking outside the outfield fence with her roommate, making her way around to the dugout. I would throw the ball, immediately look their direction, and then almost forget to look for the ball being thrown back to me.

Taking advantage of my position as one of the team captains, I conveniently assigned her to my team. It only took me three times of hearing it before I could remember her name (this is actually pretty good for me).

Alida? Alita? Aleta.

But back to choices. I chose to use her contact information for personal reasons, and asked her out.

A few weeks later, June 26th became our first date. Dinner, Transformers 2 in the IMAX. Simple. Relaxed. (Little did I know she went into the evening expecting very little... hence the jeans and Transformers t-shirt she wore. I thought it was cute.)

"I ACTUALLY had a good time," was what told me later that night, as though surprised.

A few days after that, a Guitar Hero challenge. (She mopped the floor with me)

I thought I might be pushing it, but I asked to see her again the next night. This was usually the point where I got turned down. But she said yes.

Then, even though she had a bad day at work and wanted to relax, I asked to see her the next night. But she said yes.

I saw her every night that week. She just kept saying yes.

One week after our first date, I kissed her. One month later, I told her I loved her. A month after that, we started talking about getting married.

Two months later... on Friday, November 13th, I asked Aleta Taufer to marry me.

Now try to tell me that one tiny decision can't change a man's life. Tell me that practice can't make perfect.

After all, it's given me my perfect match.

Summer of Softball

2009-09-08T18:24:00.000-07:00

It was a summer not soon to be forgotten... a full year removed from the pains and woes of being in school... a new job with a schedule that allowed for me to have an evening social life... and an encore presentation of STAKE SOFTBALL!!

That's right... just one season after being the only person ejected from a game, our team eventually losing the championship in controversial fashion... softball season was back and better than ever! By virtue of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, I agreed to be a team captain, was handed a roster, and proceeded to lead my team to a nearly perfect record! (Granted, about four of those "victories" were due to forfeit,... but that ain't my fault!)

There was NO foolin' this go around... using year-long established connections, I succeeded in procuring matching team uniforms for BOTH teams in the ward. I also invested in "THE JUGGERNAUT"... the heir to the throne to last year's DeMarini "Magic Bat"... talk about blasting a softball into next Tuesday! (And blasting my wallet into oblivion... pricey little toy!)

Practice every Tuesday night... rain or shine. Games on Wednesday... and back around again. We tuned our defensive skills, brought new players into the fold, and even had a few players find a little more interest in one another than just softball.

I managed to avoid getting thrown out of a game this year... albeit I did HOLD myself out of one game after losing my cool the previous week (during our one loss). I was sick, but I also needed a break.

I even managed to umpire an entire evening, as well as act as line judge for another. Of course, I always come in appropriate attire, using the uniform I gained during two weeks of little league umpiring (Worst. Job. Ever.)

Finally, it was tournament time. With "The Dream Team" on hand, we prepared for a possible TRIPLE HEADER for the title!

Game 1: The Nail-Biter

Even though we faced an opponent with a significantly weaker record, we literally had to scrape this one out. Down by a few runs going into the bottom of the last inning, a few perfect hits later, Brian Shelby came to the plate needing just one run to win the game in walk off fashion. After nearly walking in the game winner, Brian ripped a grounder between second and third, sending us into the semifinals.

Game 2: Tragedy Proceeds Majesty

One our big downfalls in the first game was our defense. We probably totaled 7-8 errors in that game, a handful coming from Yours Truly at shortstop. The troubles continued in this game, and after two errant throws, I moved myself into left field. (Although, really, one was just so amazing, it tore through the first baseman's glove)

Anyway, just one pitch later, the tragedy. A high pop-fly before any of us outfielders were ready, a long sustained sprint... leading to a pulled hamstring. I played it off... but it hurt. We finished the inning, and just when I was beginning to stretch it out, it was my turn to hit. I'm not sure what it was... whether I was just too focused on my leg, I finally settled down and the jitters left, or I just suddenly remembered how to play with the pressure on... but I ripped a soaring fly ball into center field. In the immortal words of Jeremy Marsh, I looked like an old man limping around the bases, but I eventually ignored the promptings of my third base coach and outran the throw home to score on an "in-the-park" home run.

Pretty sweet, eh? Guess what happened the next time up? Still limping pretty significantly, I stepped up to bat, peered into the outfield, and saw the BIGGEST gap I've probably ever seen over the center fielders head! So all it took was a smoking line drive... and I was in for another home run. About time. It only took 8 games to finally not suck.

It was a clinic! The whole team was amazing! Besides five runs in the first inning, it was a near shut out the rest of the game! Double plays, amazing catches in the outfield, and smart play all around! Just a little drama involving a pitcher who didn't know the meaning of good sportsmanship... but nothing too bad! We won by 6 runs, I think. Back to the finals!!

Game 3: Precursor to a Championship

By this point, we were loose, we were having fun, and we knew we were awesome. I don't even really remember much... by this point, I was so in the groove, I hardly remember batting, catching several hits on the run that were smoked into right field, or even sliding head first into second base at one point! Game, set, match... we annihilated an opponent stacked with "ringers" by 11 runs, and took home the "trophy". And by trophy, I mean a bag of Dove Chocolates.

(Blurriness represents our exhaustion)

It was an incredible season, and though I may not have shown it at all times, I loved every minute of it! Stake softball was one of my favorite memories from last year, and this year was no different! Thank you to a wonderful team for putting up with me all season!! This one's for you!

------------

P.S. I know I haven't posted in a long time... I'm determined to change this! Stay tuned for the next few installments of the Mack Feed where I go on the attack! (Mack Attack? BIG Mack Attack? Oh... copyright infringement. Dang.)

That's right, women's tennis and Jif peanut butter... WATCH OUT!

Monuments and Melodies

2009-06-15T18:50:00.000-07:00

If you know me... you know I'm ridiculously, insanely, absurdly, crazily, fanatically obsessed with one thing in particular.

Incubus.

The story of how my love affair began is one for another time. Today, I write only in hopes of bringing some attention to a travesty in the wake of the release of their newest album, the greatest hits "Monuments and Melodies".

I ordered my album THREE months ago. I've been anxiously awaiting this day... zooming home from work to get it and pop it into my CD player! As I sit listening the glory and majesty of this wonderful music (giving me goosebumps as I listen... oohhhh!) I find some rather disturbing news as I surf the web.

The incentive or pre-ordering was to get first choice tickets to their concert. I did that (July 16th at USANA Amphitheater!!!) But now... I learn if I had waited, there's even MORE to gain!

Concert tickets without a fee. Free Brandon Boyd artwork with an in-store purchase of the CD. Even a nice poster of the album cover if you buy it at Best Buy.

What's the point of pre-ordering and showing your deep devotion if you'll only end up left out in the cold in the end?

I shouldn't complain. Incubus has done more for my sanity over the past decade than I can even begin to describe (am I embellishing their importance to me? Maybe a little... but seriously, on the best and worst of days, their music does more for me than I can describe).

But how about a little love? Hook a guy up! Incubus promotions management... please?

A Bad Reputation

2009-06-09T06:48:00.000-07:00

I hope I never hear a mechanic, friend of a mechanic, or person somehow related/connected to a mechanic EVER complain again about being stereotyped with a bad reputation.

It is almost absolutely impossible to find a mechanic that is thorough, honesty, and trustworthy. I did it ONCE... and whenever I find myself in the area and needing something done (like an oil change), I give them my business... despite living 45 miles away now.

That's quite the commitment, though... so ever since I moved far, far away from there, I've been looking... searching... no SCOURING the city for a reasonable mechanic. I thought I found one. Now I'm not so sure.

I was lulled into carnal security. I thought 2-3 good experiences there was enough. Then it hit the fan.

I got an oil change about a month ago. Routine procedure... shouldn't be any problems. Right?

Wrong. On my way home from work that day, my engine sounded REALLY loud. I thought they'd jacked up my exhaust system or something... I had no idea how they could have, seeing as that is nowhere near where an oil change occurs... but it was loud. Then I started smelling burning oil. So I took it back to the shop, ready to throw a FIT.

After sitting and waiting for an hour... the pulled it in. Turns out it wasn't the exhaust... the mechanic neglected to put the oil cap back on the engine block! Oil was spewing out all over (burning smell) and the engine sound was no longer insulated (loud noise). What did they do?

"We cleaned up all the oil that spilled out. Sorry, this doesn't normally happen."

That was it. No refund offered, no compensation for nearly RUINING my car! If I wasn't as mechanically savvy, I could have gone a few more days without realizing... until my engine locked up after losing all the OIL!

Oh but that's not it. I took a trip to St. George this weekend. The drive down was really windy and there was a lot of weight in the car, so I wasn't too concerned with the sound of the scrape guard rubbing occasionally on a bump on the freeway.

Silly me.

About 2 months ago, I got my headlights replaced. Honda's are weird... and the mechanic had to go up through the wheel well to get to them. Well, apparently when he replaced the splash guard underneath, he didn't secure the lock pins correctly, and they fell out, leaving the guard to scrape on the ground for the last two months!

Because it's been going on so long... they splash guard has worn down and the areas where some of the pins go are now completely gone! So now it's either replace the entire piece or jimmy-rig it up.

All because some mechanic didn't want to do his job right.

I'm no fool. I know mistakes happen. But I hate this kind of situation. I don't handle it well when I have to approach someone and request they correct their mistake. I get annoyed as they defend themselves, insisting I'm the moron who must have done something wrong. I get frustrated, and ultimately end up making things worse.

I'm going back there later today to have them take a look at what happened... I'm mentally preparing myself for this so as to control my frustration.

Wish me luck. I'm going to need it.

No Guarantees

2009-05-27T07:36:00.000-07:00

Rule #1 as an athlete...

NEVER make guarantees. NEVER!

I'm so adamant about this... I GUARANTEE it will do nothing but lead to disaster for your team.

Case in point: Mo Williams.

"Guarantee we're going to win the series? Yeah, yeah," he said. "We are down 2-1. But there is nobody on this team and definitely not myself that says we are not going to win this series. Yeah, it is going to be tough. We know that. We get this game tomorrow, go home, still got home-court advantage."

If I were Lebron, or Zadrunis, or anyone else at that Cavaliers shoot around the other day, I would have run over, slapped my hand over Mo's mouth, and carried him away from the reporters. And journalists just SALIVATE when they get someone to say something like that. Yeah, they ask the leading question on purpose... but look what it got them? A great story for today.

Guarantees never work. The ONLY thing they do is create fodder for your opponent, and puts a chip on their shoulder they feel obligated and entitled to defend!

Yeah, okay... a few guys in HISTORY have been successful with the guarantee. Joe Namath. Babe Ruth. And oddly enough, Plaxico Burress. But the odds are NOT in your favor, Mo.

You're the better team? Suuuuure you are. Thanks to Lebron James. What did you manage to do to help back up your word vomit? 18 points, 2 steals, 5 rebounds and a turnover... not to mention 2 WHOLE assists!! Good job, point guard.

I'm not a Cleveland fan, but I was pulling for King James to get his ring. And now, thanks to "Mo Knows Worst" that's probably not going to happen.

Oh yeah... and of course, the fact that Cleveland has no answer for Rashard Lewis helped a little too.

Dis. Gust. Ing.

2009-05-21T08:01:00.000-07:00

I see it everywhere. It's pervasive in our society. They're all over, flooding the internet... Facebook included.

And it is possibly one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen.

Yet so many people think it's appealing... attractive... and ugh, delicious!

Okay... clearly, I'm swimming in hyperbole, but I'm serious about the gross-out.

What am I talking about? It's pictures of normally BEAUTIFUL and ATTRACTIVE girls holding something as tacky as a Bud Light bottle... faces all contorted in a drunk haze... wearing ridiculous outfits far too dressy for the bar or club in which they are sitting.

Maybe it's just me... I associate those gross, brown bottles with scuzzy guys at sporting events, shouting and being generally obnoxious throughout the game. I associate beer bottles with the hundreds of thousands I saw littered as I walked down the roads of North Carolina as a missionary (and still continue to see everywhere). I associate beer bottles with that nasty molding bread smell that IS the smell of beer.

I hate it.

Ladies... look, don't get me wrong. Drink away, you have your agency. I just don't find it attractive. In fact, I find it downright repulsive.

You might have had fun out at the club last night... but you REALLY don't need to post pictures of yourself completely plastered and borderline puking on Facebook! It's NOT appealing. It's not even humorous.

It's sad.

I guess in way, it might work. It makes me want to give you a sympathetic hug.

But I won't. You might throw up on me.

Keep Your Friends Close...

2009-05-08T20:04:00.001-07:00

And your enemies closer...

But wait... you say he isn't the enemy anymore?

For nearly the entirety of my life here on this Earth... Brett Favre, though a nice guy, was the enemy. He continually destroyed the Vikings...

Now he might BECOME a Viking?

What is with my teams going after guys I've had to hate for years?

First, the Suns... Shaq? Needless to say, I was NOT a happy camper back then.

I truly don't know how I feel about this. I know one thing... post-season Brett Favre drama is getting REALLY old.

But now it's my team involved. Could Favre do some good for Minnesota? Absolutely! Their quarterback play for the last 4-5 seasons has been dismal, at best! NFL analysts are NOT exaggerating when they say the Vikes are only a decent QB away from real Super Bowl contention! They got the defense... they got the run game!

ALL DAY A.P. BABY!

But would Favre hold up? The dude's old! And while he played great at the beginning of the season last year... he fell to pieces the second half and cost the Jets a playoff spot.

So do I want him? Yes... no... ye... n... uhhh... I'll get back to you on that.

A Sad Sign

2009-05-06T18:16:00.000-07:00

I'm a pretty level headed guy... right?

I'm prone to moderation... in thought, in action...

So how bad is it when I can't go to a Wal-Mart without worrying about my bike being stolen off the rack on the back of my car?

I mean, I'd shop a lot of places and not think twice about it... but I almost drove all the way home, unloaded the bike, and then went back just because of the stigma. Especially at this particular store...

Of course, I typically don't shop at Wal-Mart... out of principle.

But is that over the top? I mean, I RUSHED through the store to get the three things I needed so I could get back out there ASAP!

Sigh... what kind of world do we live in?

Even Hippies Worship Me!

2009-04-22T16:29:00.000-07:00

Let me be among the first to say to myself... Happy Birthday, me!

Okay, actually I'm not even close to being the first. I have such fabulous friends, they've been wishing me well for like three days now. Thank you all! (Especially my sis... thanks so much for the "tribute" on your blog! www.twicefortnightly.blogs

pot.com)

So... I share my day of birth with that of Mother Earth. That's why it's called Earth Day, right? It's her birthday? Ehhh... what do I know?

Anyway... my new company, www.babysteals.com (A.K.A. The Steal Network) is big on green initiatives and we're celebrating today by purchasing 250 square feet of rain forest with every cloth diaper we sell (yes, I'm a single, 26-year-old guy talking about cloth diapers... it's weird, I'm already aware of this).

So I'm in our warehouse cleaning up a bit and I got to thinking... do I have a subconscious awareness about energy conservation thanks to 20+ years of saying "Earth Day is my birthday"? (I was so proud of creating such an original rhyme at such a young age).

When I was younger, I was pretty big on turning off lights around the house that weren't in use. Of course, that might have had something to do with the "rules"... we were SUPPOSED to do that, so I enforced it. I also tried to conserve water, recycle pop cans whenever I could, and liked to pick up trash while tracting on the mission...

When I worked for KSL's Nightside Project, one of our regular guests was the guy who organizes the "Lights Out" initiatives like the one held a few weeks ago... he ran a company that sells things to help people save energy (and subsequently, money). I found some of his stuff to be really compelling (albeit rather expensive).

If I could afford it... I'd totally go green. I'd eat organically grown food. I'd recycle as much as possible... but it's expensive! Last year, I needed new lightbulbs, so I bought those compact florescent ones... they were like $16.00 for 4! Yikes!

I think that's the biggest thing about the green movement and why so many people hate it. It's takes a significant financial investment! It seems like it's only the snobby that can afford it... so that alienates the middle to lower class.

Then there are the hippies who go all out... apparently thinking that not cutting their hair or shaving or wearing deodorant also saves the planet...

And then there's Al Gore. 'Nuff said.

Like all things in life... I think it's essential to find a nice middle ground on stuff like this. I'm not about to start eating dirt and living in a hemp tent... but I'm also realistic.

Maybe there's some truth to the global warming talk... I don't think it's going to kill us all in 20 years, but no doubt, 4+ billion people can have an effect on the climate.

I do what I can. I own an "ultra low emissions" vehicle... it's not a hybrid, but it does its job (and it's good economically too!) I still turn off lights, TV's, etc., and maybe some day, I'll buy a house that's eco-friendly.

So... yeah, maybe I do share somewhat of a close tie with the planet...

After all... she talks to me on a regular basis... when I'm sleeping... she tells me things... ;)

Those Who Can't Play... Ref

2009-04-11T15:56:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am referring to myself. I pretend... but I'm not a very good basketball player. I've got a few moves... I can play defense well when I'm in shape (meaning I don't play defense well very often)... and I can hit a baseline turn-around fade shot with my eyes closed.

Outside of that... I'm sub-par. I'm a short, white guy. It's okay, I've come to terms with it.

But... as it says... those who can't DO... ref.

Yeah, I made that up, so what? The bottom line is, I can't do very well... so I referee.

I've been trying to figure out WHY... and I'm not certain I have a definite answer for you. But I LOVE it. I love blowing the whistle... raising my arm in the air for a foul and "bird-dogging" the offending player. I love when a basket drops on a foul... or calling an obvious charge.

Yes... it's true. I do enjoy the "authority"... it's in my nature. But it's not the CONTROL I love... it's correctly implementing an extensive and practical application of the rules, and being confident in that application no matter how loud the protests become. Confidence is, of course, key to surviving as a referee.

I also love it because... well, in all humility, I'm REALLY good at it. I started refereeing when I was roughly 16 years old. My stake needed someone to fill in for a girl's basketball game, so I volunteered. Next thing I knew, I was calling men's games, throwing technical fouls at hot-tempered, 40-year-old men who got up in my face, and eventually throwing a few out of the games.

From there, I actually worked semi-professionally for Provo City. I actually received SOME training, and proceeded to officiate games between teens, college students, adults, for both men and women.

Now, I actually VOLUNTEERED to referee basketball games for my single's stake league.

It's typically a thankless job... people usually hate everything you do, someone always disagrees with your calls, and players regularly complain. But not in this league. I guess the quality difference was so drastic, they were actually grateful to have someone calling the games who knew what he was doing. I was actually THANKED after almost every game!

That is... until Thursday night.

It was the last day of the stake tournament... one semi-final, then the women's and men's championship games. It had all the makings of a long, emotionally-difficult night.

The first game was never close. One team went up by double digits pretty quickly, and held that lead for the majority of the game. I think it might have gotten closer at halftime.

But by the final 10-15 seconds... the game is well in hand. I stopped calling the non-essential fouls because it really didn't matter. The last few seconds were a little confusing... but it was pretty much over.

After the final horn blew (remember, the one team won by 14 points) two players from the losing team approach me. One gets up in my face and starts to argue. I knew immediately he wasn't arguing a call, he just wanted to get his two cents in without fear of landing a tech.

After about 30 seconds of being yelled at... I had enough. I put my hand on his chest to hold him away from my face, tried to explain the call, and eventually just told him he was done.

That's when he grabbed my arm and THREW it to the side! Though he didn't ACTUALLY lift his other arm, I felt like he was about to rear back and throw a haymaker at my face! I backed up... asked to have him escorted from the building... and his response was to threaten me twice, saying he'd find me somewhere else!

What a thug.

So you might still be asking... why do I love refereeing so much?

I don't know. I don't like being punched. But I do like being right... and I was. :)

The Time Has Come

2009-04-09T15:05:00.000-07:00

About a week and a half ago on Facebook... I started posting rather cryptic status updates regarding some kind of decision I made. Today, I come clean... and divulge the big secret.

Almost THREE weeks ago, I was at the auto shop getting 3 of 4 headlights replaced. Thanks to Honda engineering... this takes a little longer than I had expected, so I left to get some breakfast. I sat down to my French toast and orange juice at Apollo Burger (who knew?!), flipped open my laptop, and got on Facebook.

That's when I saw it... in a status update.

A former co-worker of mine left KSL about a year ago to start a business venture. An online retail website, catering to the needs of new moms, called Baby Steals. I had followed her efforts peripherally, and knew she was doing pretty well.

So well, in fact, the company made a decent profit in its first year.

So well, in fact, they were hiring.

Now, before I continue, let me say this. For the last year, though fairly well satisfied with where I was working, I always left the door open. Any time I saw an open position at a radio station, I sent a resume. Any time I had the chance to meet and network, I took advantage of it. Considering my industry and the state of the current economy, I didn't expect much, but thought, "Why not?"

This was no different. I struck up conversation... she threw out her "sales pitch" for the position... I told her I would think about it.

It didn't take me long.

It was one of those decisions where... I recognize the pieces falling into place so perfectly, I know there's a reason behind it. Usually when I am trying to make a really difficult decision, and my instinct is not what's best for me... I'm really conflicted. But in this case, I woke up the next day, and just knew I should pursue it.

From there, a little interview, a little negotiation, and by the next Monday, I submitted my two week notice at KSL Newsradio.

I will now be the warehouse/fulfillment manager at The Steal Network. I will be responsible for seeing that every order made at our current website is "fulfilled"... and help prepare for several other sites scheduled to begin sales sometime soon.

Your first thought is probably the same as everyone else I've told... and no, it's not journalism, nor is it broadcasting. This was the hardest part of my decision. I love journalism. It's one of my favorite things ever. I am passionate about it... I fight constantly to defend its integrity.

And yeah, it's definitely far from broadcasting. I would never admit it before for fear of vanity, but I really love hearing my voice in the radio. I've worked in the industry 3 1/2 years, and to this day, I still turn up the radio and listen intently every time one of my stories plays. I don't show it... but every time someone asks me "Are you on the radio?", I not only get a sense of excitement, but I also get a sense of pride. I really do love it, and if I've ever made you feel otherwise, my outward humility succeeded!

However, this job offers me a whole new experience. Yes, it was partially financial, but it is also about personal growth. I had been considering pursuing an MBA at some point... but here I get to learn the ins-and-outs of a small young company. And as the company continues to succeed, I will have the opportunity to move up. It was the right decision for me to make right now.

I will still remain at KSL as an on-call option for the station, as well as working on the staff for all BYU sports broadcasts. I am very excited to continue my relationship with a company at which three years ago, I wanted so badly to land a job, I almost couldn't stand it. I worked almost every position imaginable: technical producer, on-air talent, imaging producer, webmaster, board operator, associate producer, executive producer, reporter, as well as other odds-and-ends. It's been an amazing three years of ups, downs, and everywhere in between.

Wish me luck... and stay tuned. I've considered starting a podcast. We'll see where that idea goes.

March Madness Madness

2009-03-30T10:21:00.000-07:00

Is it really already Final Four time? Wow... the tournament has FLOWN by this year!

Yeah... there wasn't a real Cinderella team this year... but I mean, come on! It's March Madness!! How can you NOT get into it?

Well, I almost didn't this year. I know, I know... Sultan of Sport. Insane fan of collegiate athletics... would sit and watch games on TV for weeks on end if given the chance! (well, maybe... depends on the games... and the sport) but the point remains!

I'm not sure why. I've felt this way just a little bit for the past two years... but this year, the prompting was especially strong. Maybe it's been the advent of the online bracket. I LOVE having that piece of paper in front of me, analyzing the teams (in my head, without research, just on a whim). I'm used to RUNNING bracket pools, going through each day and marking down who guessed which games correctly... laughing to myself as I see people's predictions. It's just not the same online.

Or maybe it was because I'm sick of being annihilated in my pools by some girl who picked her favorites based on mascot/team colors/cutest players/relative location to something cool. How much more degrading can that be? It's like losing a spelling bee to a 2nd grader who randomly guesses the correct spelling of "psychopsilosybin".

Whatever the reason is for my lapse in common sense... I'll never do it again!

I typically spend the majority of March Madness near the middle of the pack in my pools... and it was the same this year. But the fates have a way of making me smile...

Just as a number of other things are falling into place in my life, clearly the MOST important thing turns in my favor...

I'M LEADING MY OWN BRACKET POOL!

Yeah, it's not over yet... but my Final Four is completely intact! Yes, I picked MSU! Yes, I picked 'Nova! I jumped from about 12-15th places to 1st in one, and second in another!

I know... I'm a genius. After all, I am the Sultan of Sport!

Okay, before this goes to my head... I'll stop. Besides... come Saturday night, I'm sure both of my picks will lose, I'll be back where I started...

And that girl who has never watched basketball in her life will walk away with the prize.

Driving Blind

2009-03-24T06:25:00.001-07:00

The Wallflowers - One Headlight
Uploaded by Tunashaker

It's true of many things in life... you don't know how valuable they are until you no longer have them.

Take something simple, for example... like car headlights.

You get in... flip the switch to turn them on... and you can defy the dark, cold night, and travel where ever you want!

Try doing that without the lights... it's a scary proposition!

A proposition I was forced to take driving to work this morning.

My right headlamp has been out for a few days. It lasted through a trip to Vegas before giving out, so I was grateful for that, at least. I've been so busy (and sick) I haven't had a chance to replace the thing... so I've been praying some overzealous cop wouldn't try to make an example of me. (It's happened before)

I got into my car this morning... flipped on the headlights... and watched the left headlamp turn on and burn out in a split second! I kind of sat there... not sure what to do. I turned the lights off... then back on again, but no dice. My daytime running lights worked, my turn signals worked... but not the headlights.

Put yourself in my place... it's 4:30 in the morning, dark as sin... and no lights. How do you call in to work with a problem like that?

Luckily... I was able to use my "brights"... but this meant turning those OFF when passing another car.

AND... for whatever reason, my brights wouldn't stay on by themselves, so I literally had to hold the lever in the "on" position the whole 15 minute drive. I think that means there's just an electrical problem, and not actual burnt out bulbs... but what do I know? I'm just a journalist, not a mechanic.

What a weird morning. I guess I HAVE to go get my lamps fixed now.

A Checkbook? Really?!

2009-03-23T16:28:00.000-07:00

Hello. 1985 called. They'd like their "checkbook" back.

I'm at the grocery store this evening. It's "rush hour" at the checkout line, and of course, the store is understaffed. It was one of those times where you walk by every stand hoping one of them DOESN'T have some person shopping for a 12-person family... but to no avail.

I don't know how it always happens to me, but the one I chose is almost always the line with the most incompetent, inconsiderate person within a five mile radius of the store. (Oh, and don't even get me started on the "convenient" self check-out lines...)

Today's episode: this woman has tons of groceries. It takes about 1 1/2 hours to ring everything up (or so it seemed)... including sending her son back to the aisle for something she forgot. The whole time, she's casually watching the cashier... looking, well, rather bored, frankly.

Finally. A total. $1,343,298.09! (or so it seemed!)

And... THEN she starts fumbling around in her purse to find her checkbook.

WHAT? Lady, you've been standing there for 89 minutes and 53 seconds watching this guy struggle with your groceries... and NOW you decide to start writing the check? You couldn't bust that out even two minutes ago and start writing the date... or the name of the store... or signing your name at the bottom?

Absolutely not. That would mean this ignoramus was thinking about someone other than HERSELF!

Besides that... who in the world still USES a checkbook at a store anymore? I mean, most cashiers don't even know what to DO with those things! They have to check ID, run it through a special machine (that takes like 10 minutes to warm up) and half the time the check gets stuck.

And I mean, seriously... get a freakin' debit card! It is NOT a credit card... it's JUST like a check, except it only takes 30 SECONDS to process instead of 30 MINUTES!!!

When I got INTO the line... I was the only person waiting. By the time this woman left... there were 8 people standing behind me.

---------

It's not an isolated incident either. I took my mom to the grocery store once. We needed ONE thing, so I dropped her off and waited in the parking lot.

Almost 25 minutes later, she comes stumbling out of the store and climbs in the car.

She didn't even have to say anything.

"You got stuck behind an old lady writing a check, didn't you?" I asked.

"Yeah, how did you know?" my mom said.

Duh.

-------

Look, lest I be seen as just some impatient cynic... I know checks are still useful. I pay my rent and my tithing with a check. I prefer mailing one instead of filling out my credit card information. And I'm a little old school... I like the feeling writing one up, signing it, and tearing along the perforated edges.

But ALL of these things are done in the comfort of my own home and NOT in a line of 8-10 hurried and anxious shoppers!

Nobody likes waiting in a checkout line. At least, I've never met anyone who does. *I* personally try to avoid anything that would cause a backup... and I would hope decent people would try to do the same for me.

I guess I just expect too much.

Insult to Injury

2009-03-20T12:10:00.000-07:00

Call it a hazard of getting up for work before 4:00 AM every day... or simply me being an idiot. Either explanation is applicable.

I had to come in a little early for work on Wednesday. Greg Wrubell was in Philadelphia, preparing for BYU's NCAA tournament game against Texas A&M. When Greg goes out of town, I have the daunting task of filling his witty, Canadian shoes as sports anchor for "Utah's Morning News".

On those days, I try to come in a little earlier. I need the extra half-hour to sufficiently portray my passion for sport in those bi-hourly updates.

So... it's early. I'm getting out of the shower, getting dressed. I pull up one pant leg... I pull up the second...

*WHACK*

Don't ask me how... but by some freak chance, my right knee comes down hard on the corner of the sink! I mean... right in that soft spot between the knee cap and top of the tibia. At first, I wasn't sure if it actually hurt... you know, the shock you go through after initially getting hurt. But then I tried to straight my knee, and the pain shot through my leg.

Seriously, the last thing that this rapidly-aging body needs is another lame injury. Between two severely sprained fingers, a pulled hamstring, a bruised lung and sore ribs... I think this takes the cake for stupid, frustrating injuries. At least those others were the result of playing basketball.

This one was just a sleepy-eyed, half-conscious doofus not paying attention while rushing around in the still of the morning.

If you see me limping around Salt Lake anytime soon... please don't laugh.

Male Reporter + Women's Fashion = Awkward

2009-03-11T07:30:00.000-07:00

Yes, reporter... I haven't posted in awhile, mostly because I've been so burnt out on writing since two weeks ago when I was "promoted" to be a reporter. I now spend half my shift as an associate producer, and instead of executive producer of the Noon News, I go out into the field and file one or two stories a day.

-----

So... it's no secret. I'm a dude. You know... a man - likes sports, steak and potatoes, and grunting.

But yesterday, my assignment was to seek out people to talk to about women's fashion... more specifically YOUNG women's fashion. The story is upcoming, so I won't give it away... but it led to a few interesting phone calls and conversations.

First was my call was to a well known store in the mall. I was hoping to talk to one of the managers. Eventually, I was forwarded to the regional supervisor. In an attempt show I was educated on the topic, I told her, "I know what you mean, I've been to a number of your stores before."

She seemed a little caught off guard.

"So........ you shop in our men's section?"

I didn't even know this place HAD a men's section. No, I just have been shopping with girlfriends before, which means I'm vaguely familiar with women's retail stores.
She seemed almost... perturbed!

-----

Later, I went to the mall to get reaction from random shoppers. About 8 or 9 times, I stopped a female shopper and said, "I've been assigned to do a story about women's fashion... or more specifically, young women's fashion."

Now, I've been watching a lot of the TV drama "Lie To Me", which over analyzes body language. Yeah... the slight pause and blank stare I got every time told me they were thinking one of two things...

"Excuse me?!" - or - "Hahahaha!"

I'm not sure which bothered me more. Needless to say, I wasted no time moving on and asking the questions to make it a little more clear where I was going with it.

I get it though... some random guy, walking around the mall with a microphone... the last thing they probably expected me to ask for was analysis on women's clothes.

All that said... I do like to shop, and had to get out of the mall as soon as I was finished with the story.

An Apostle Resigns

2009-02-23T07:26:00.001-08:00

In the world of journalism, you regularly receive emails pleading for you to make a person's case known to the public. In fact, most days, I personally receive about 50-150 press releases, announcements, and other junk to my inbox. I have received emails from just about everyone imaginable... the KKK, Al-Qaida, Neo-Nazis...

But some of the most interesting are the "religious" ones. Some are intriguing, some are ludicrous... and others are almost... painful.

I am hesitant to even post this because I feel bad for these people. I think they clearly have some... issues. I don't mean to demean anyone's beliefs, but there are some things that just give you that "You're kidding, right?" feeling.

Good luck reading it. It's quite confusing... but I'll leave it to you to decide credibility. (The only editing was to add paragraph breaks)

"An Apostle Resigns"

An Open Letter From John, The Son Of Zebedee To The American Media

It is without doubt to say that our situation is now desperate. The need to reach Yoko Ono is beyond explaination. God still wants Our Beloved Demetrius to make another presidential run in 2,012. We are looking for people to represent him throughout The United States. We need the media to make him known to the public. Those who join us now will receive special rewards that will be handed down to their descendants. What we speak is unpopular, that Jesus has abandoned mankind because of the homosexuals and because of the cry of "Economic prosperity above all else!" has left us devastated. We desperately need to restore The Kingdom Of God, to restore salvation.

We cannot do this without John Lennon. Reaching Yoko is imperative! And every American should know that their survival depends upon it. Also, we need the courier/protectors from every major religious group to carry God's messages back to their people, to restore the power of God's servant to hunt and destroy evil. The American People should be aware that these young women are being called and will be glorified.

The need for The Mormon protector is especially vital. Members of the press should be contacting The Mormon Prophet and asking him rather or not he is going to save mankind. The Mormon People should be aware of their exalted position. These are trying times, but they can also be glorious times if man responds to God. Every voice speaking for God is vital! Every voice speaking the truth, no matter how unpopular, is another chance to save mankind. I ask all receiving this email to be one of those voices! He Who Serves Him That Dwells In The Holiest Of All Now, And, Forever An Official Decree From The Kingdom Of Israel From John The Son Of Zebedee, Its Ruler 22-02-00 AJ

Be it known that I have entered into The Holiest Of All and tendered my resignation to God The Father as The Ruler Of The Kingdom Of Israel and the head of The Kingdoms Of God. For the time being James, The Son Of Alphaeus has taken over the post that I am vacating. Hopefully he can do a better job because as Commander of The Angelic Guard he has had more contact with Our Beloved Demetrius (Speaker Gerald Polley) who is at this time, God's only true voice on Earth, the only one that will speak without the corruption of mankind. I deeply regret that because of my failure to be able to be The Steward Of God's Kingdoms, so much chaos has ensued. We did not realize that the departure of Our Beloved Jesus and His consort, Mary Magdalene, would create so much havoc that it was actually Our Beloved Mary Magdalene that was assisting in keeping Our Beloved Demetrius' powers under control, and that without her every time he tries to act chaos is occuring among the living. My wife could not fulfill the function of Mary Magdalene. God has tried to arrange an alternate system, courier/ protectors from each major religion to live with Demetrius, shield and protect their people while they help deliver God's messages.

God is offering great rewards for these courier/protectors to take their place, but none will. Therefore, despite the tremendous power We possess We are virtually impotent. We can stand Our ground against the creatures of Darkness but We can make no headway against them. We are in a stalemate, and the loss of the human race grows more possible every day.

I have decided, both my wife and I have decided, that we must carry the battle to the material world. So we have therefore chosen to reincarnate as members of the Pentecostal faith in The United States and try to bring power in to them so that they may be brought back to God's service and the evil that has crept into their society may be countered. We have chosen to do this almost immediately. We do not want to give the exact times or dates, so that these children will not be sought after to be manipulated by the forces of evil. But I am leaving my position as The Patriarch of the tribe of Reuben, and as director of communications with the material world. I have asked John Paul II, former vicar of The Church Of Rome, to take my place, and if The Kingdom Of God should be reestablished to take my place as Apostle in that Kingdom. He has accepted and God has approved. So from this date forth he now fulfills those duties. My service as an Apostle of Jesus Christ has ended.

I hope some day, under another name, to earn God's praise and have a position someplace else in Jesus' service, so that which He created never ends. But my failure is deep and painful and I cannot continue. There is one that should lead The Kingdoms Of God, restore The Kingdom Of Jesus, and give mankind hope. But he will not take his place unless his earthly love accepts his Apostleship and promises to do what God requires so she may enter The Kingdoms Of God with him.

Therefore, with this decree I send a special plea to Yoko Ono, the earthly wife of John Lennon. In the service of Our Lord And Savior your husband has reached levels of greatness that have surpassed mine. I honor him with the deepest respect and admiration. I ask, in the name of Our Lord And Savior Jesus Christ that you recognize his Apostleship, praise what he has accomplished, and support his ascension to The Rulership Of The Kingdoms Of God. The salvation of all mankind depends on the restoration of your love. Therefore, I ask with all sincerity, that you accept the great love that is given you and return it for the sake of us all. This ends my decree. As I have said, my service as an Apostle is now ended. I give my title and authority to others, and I hope they do better than I have done. Given In The Name Of Him That Dwells In The Holiest Of All Now, and, Forever http://www.voicesfromspirit.com/V23N2/links.htm

(If you made it this far... you have to watch the videos at the link... wow...)

I'm Being Sued

2009-02-19T05:48:00.000-08:00

Yep. Write that one in the journal.

It stems from the car accident I was involved in over a month ago. EACH person in the other car hired an attorney, apparently under the impression that because I own a Civic (and I'm a Caucasian male) I must have a lot of money.

(Don't get fussy over the Caucasian comment... they're the ones who accused me of lying about the crash because they are Hispanic)

I've never been in this kind of situation before... and frankly, I'd never even think to DO this myself unless it was blatantly negligent or there was a serious injury involved (both of which do not apply in this situation). My insurance company has denied their claim... maintaining it was their fault...

BUT...

This whole thing could have been avoided VERY simply.

In the immediate aftermath of the impact, a man driving a mini-van got out of his car and approached me. He handed me his first name and phone number written on a piece of paper. He told me he was late for an appointment, but witnessed the accident and I could contact him for a statement. He assured me my light was green when I drove through, and the crash was clearly the other drivers' fault.

Well, it's been a month and a half. Salt Lake Police, USAA Insurance, Geico Insurance, and I have been trying consistently to get in touch with this "Good Samaritan"... but to no avail.

Who gives their phone number to someone unsolicited as a witness to an auto accident... and then DOESN'T actually do it?

If I had known this idiot was going to turn into the world's biggest flake, I would have searched for another witness! I should have anyway... but I felt I was safe with this one.

At first, I thought the other insurance company got to him first, offered him some deal... but no, they didn't get the guy's phone number until I chose to give it to them. So... I don't know what the deal is... but it gets me all hot under the collar!

I've been an accident witness! Is it just my innate desire to see justice served that I am willing to get involved in situations like these? HE'S not facing litigation... but now I am!

Maybe he has some reasonable explanation... maybe a family member died. Maybe he lost his job. Maybe HE died!

Alas... I'll never know.

But if you witness a car accident... PLEASE, for the sake of innocent person (who can't afford to have HIS or her insurance go up AGAIN), FILE a police report! Make a statement! Do your fellow brother or sister a favor and help save them the hassle of fending off worthless lawsuits from some money-grubbing, self-serving, lying ignoramus.

It's the least you can do.

Non-Conformity

2009-02-06T06:36:00.001-08:00

I'm not a "non-conformist". I don't dress "bizarrely", observe a "unique lifestyle", or "fight the powers that be". In fact, it is in my nature to defend and maintain many tried and true rules of life. I'm a rules guy... so much so, my second calling in life is a basketball referee. I like learning, mastering, and "enforcing" the rules of the game.

But while I AM a rules guy... I'll tell you what I'm not. I am NOT a fad follower. I never have been, and I never will be. I resist the mainstream. Even if "everyone is doing it" or it's the latest, biggest, most "fun" thing out there... I fight the masses.

This isn't some adult-onset pessimism either. I've always been this way. In elementary school, everyone loved X-Men cards... not me. In middle school, Ace of Base was the hottest group out there... I wouldn't even give them a listen! In high school... athletics was for the shallow, popularity-seeking crowd, so I turned to choir and theater instead.

I literally get sick to my stomach when I see something become so big, people will actually trample one another in stores to get to it! Cabbage Patch Dolls in the 80's, Tickle Me Elmo in the 90's, the "Snuggie" of 2009.

And so we come to the cause of my defense. "25 Random Things". It's a Facebook fad. It's the return of the survey email forwards of the 90's, but now it's immediately posted for everyone to see...

I'll admit, I've read quite a few of these posts. I enjoyed some... others were dull and boring, and frankly, there were many I wasn't even interested in clicking on at all.

I thought it was cute at first, and I considered doing it. But every time I logged into Facebook, another 3-4 were up on the wall. Now... it's in the national media.

I won't be surprised if we start seeing t-shirts with something like "I read your 25 random things" printed on them sometime soon.

But...

I won't do it. I won't participate. To succumb to this fad would be to tread all over my values. It might be fun, interesting, entertaining, and informative... but I refuse. In fact, one of my biggest hang-ups with casting my vote in the Presidential election last year was whether I'd be seen as conforming to the Obama fad or casting a legitimate, well-informed vote.

Frankly, I've been surprised by the reaction I've received from MANY people. "Party pooper" is a common term used. Why get so upset with me just because I chose not to drum up a bunch of useless information to keep you entertained. I think I'm already pretty entertaining without conforming.

Criticize me all you want... but at least I stick to my morals... something missing from a lot of places in the world today. I don't need you to understand them... in fact, if too many people did, they might BECOME the next fad!

Call me a cynic... but sometimes people aren't much better than cattle. Aim them in a direction and make loud noises behind them... they'll run right into a deep, fast moving river or off the edge of a cliff.

This thing is supposed to entertain people, right? Well, I think in reading this post... you've learned a lot about me, and you'll probably remember this a lot more than a laundry list of weird quirks.

Now... all that said... one of my many critics decided because I wouldn't participate, he would post a list of things ABOUT me. I was impressed, offended, and intrigued... but most importantly, I laughed my head off. Adam... this one's for you:

25 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT PAUL McHARDY (BECAUSE HE WON'T DO IT)
1) Is a well-known Portugeuse soap opera star
2) His middle name is "Emma"
3) His favorite color is periwinkle
4) Once spent seven hours looking for his car at the mall, then remembered he took the bus
5) Likes the smell of white out, but not glue
6) Collects autographs of Jennifer Love Hewitt
7) Likes to prepare deviled eggs, but not eat them
8) Sang backup vocals for 98 Degrees
9) Wastes no time and bites right through a Jolly Rancher
10) Likes to hold and to be held
11) Some folks call it a kaiser blade, he calls it a sling blade
12) Is positive he is the reincarnation of Lyndon B. Johnson
13) Can't count past 675
14) Can communicate telepathically with squirrels
15) Believes it's not real butter, not fooled for a second
16) As a boy, he wanted to grow up and be a fishmonger
17) Thinks Glenn Close is a "handsome woman"
18) Claims 9 different NFL teams as his favorite
19) Can do the robot
20) Utes fan
21) Didn't go on a mission, actually toured with Phish for two years.
22) Has no sour taste buds, can suck on a lemon all day long
23) Is not prepared for the DTV switch
24) Disables airline lavatory smoke detectors just for fun
25) Has the entire Full House collection on DVD

P.S. For the record... only one of these things is true... can you guess which one?

Bzzzzzz!!!

2009-02-04T14:50:00.000-08:00

Monday was a big day for me... no, probably not for the reasons you are thinking. Well... wait, maybe... what are you thinking?

Nope, you're wrong.

I mentioned a few weeks ago how I was attempting to grow out my hair. It's something I've wanted to do for a very long time, but never had the patience to accomplish. It always got to about the same exact length, and I would give up and get out the buzzers.

Well, I can't remember when I last cut it, but it had been at least two months or so. It was the longest I have ever had my hair (in my adult life anyway). I avoided the impatience several ways... trying new hair products, growing (and subsequently shaving) a full beard, and wearing hats a LOT.
But on Monday, I sat at work and the thought just came to me, "Paul, the time has come. Go cut your hair."

It's not the first time I've thought this, but I decided I'd put it to a vote. If I had been thinking, I would have posted a poll online... but instead, I typed up a text message asking for opinions: Long hair vs. Short hair

I sent the message to probably 15 different people (okay, well, 15 girls)... and the results were overwhelming!

"Short" "Cut it, try something different" "Cut it, it's more handsome that way" "Short" "Short" "Cut it, for the adventure" "Short" "Short" "Short"

It continued... 12 votes for "short"! I got one vote saying "I like it long with a beard"... another that told me to trim it, but not too short, and a third that said, "I can't even decide what to do with my own hair" (which is true!)

Talk about a resounding majority! Makes me wonder if there was some "Paul looks awful with long hair" club somewhere! No, I'm kidding... but that sealed the deal.

Off with his hair!
And yeah... they were right. I do look better this way... but at least I accomplished my goal.

The Black Hole Investment

2009-02-02T06:12:00.000-08:00

Remember when Tom Hanks was a comedy actor? I do... and I remember his movie called "The Money Pit".
The crux of the movie... he and his new bride buy a big ol' mansion with dreams of fixing it up... a hopeless endeavor that only sinks them deeper in debt and living in a huge mess.

Why am I thinking about an old 80's Tom Hanks movie?

Because I've realized I have my own money pit. It's called dating. I know every guy out there realizes how expensive this activity is... but I feel like I am single-handedly stimulating the economy via dinners, movies, and activities!

You might wonder what I am complaining about... at least I have dates, right? Well... I'm simply making an observation... but lest you think I am embellishing the truth... I went back and totaled the cost of my dating ventures over the last couple months or so... $150 a month!!!

Some haven't gone anywhere... others still have potential. But is it really worth the cost?
Some people call it an investment in my "future"... but lately it feels like a black hole investment. I'm simply feeding and entertaining what seems like the entire female population of Salt Lake City, with very little to show for it!

Hey... maybe I can try to file them as tax write-offs! Hmm...

Out of the Closet

2009-01-30T06:12:00.000-08:00

Isn't it funny how the fates align sometimes?

Earlier this year, I shared with you my "sports allegiances". I felt I needed to explain in some depth why I like the teams I do because they are spread all across the country.

Near the end of the post, I discussed my NFL allegiances. Remember, this was written October 2nd!

To quote myself (because I am cool like that):

"I mentioned the [Arizona] Cardinals... I'll be excited if they can ever put together a season."

Well, the Cards have done MORE than just put together a season... they've "shocked the world", beat the odds, and are headed to their first Super Bowl in franchise history! It's been 61 years since they've even been in contention for any kind of football title, and they were in Chicago back then!

So, YES, I'm excited! In fact, I'm officially out of the "Cardinals Fan" closet! You can call me a band wagoner if you want... but unless you're a TRUE Cubs fan, you don't know what it's like to spend SO many years in mediocrity. Hard to be taken seriously when you say you're a Cardinals fan... so you typically just keep your mouth shut.

Ask a select few and they'll tell you I like TOO many different teams... but trust me, I've always watched the Cardinals albeit incognito.

I wanted to announce this publicly BEFORE the game so no one could accuse me of riding the coat tails of the Super Bowl winner, should Arizona pull off the upset.

That said... it's going to be tough. Despite Arizona's amazing offense (with names like Warner, Fitzgerald, Bouldin, Hightower, and "the Edge"), the Steelers have the best defense in the league. But Pittsburgh's offense is suspect... and the Cardinal defense came out of nowhere this post season!

I'll regret this... considering my recent sports track record... but I'm prepared to make a prediction.

Super Bowl XLIII

Pittsburgh Steelers - 13
Arizona Cardinals - 21

GO CARDS!

Enough, Carl's Jr.

2009-01-28T19:09:00.000-08:00

I've been looking for an excuse to write lately... and I didn't find it until watching a rerun, DVR-ed episode of the Simpsons.

See, there's this commercial... I know, what am I doing watching commercials when I have a DVR? Who knows... anyway, it's the latest in a long line of disgusting advertisements from Carl's, Jr.

Maybe you've seen it... this bombshell blond girl gets all gussied up, drives over to her alleged boyfriend's house under the impression they're going out for a nice steak dinner. Of course, he's sitting on the couch, grubby and unkempt. The dude apparently meant he was taking her to get a steak sandwich at the aforementioned eating establishment.

Let's forget the fact that this guy is clearly not even close to being in the same league as this woman. She's gorgeous and he's a slimeball. I KNOW that's the point, but it's the last line of the commercial that sent me over the edge today.

"It's how guys do fancy"

Excuse me? If being a piece of waste loser who takes my girlfriend a fast food joint for steak is considered a guy's way of doing fancy... then I'm a woman.

Look, I understand how advertising works. Appealing to a certain audience, humor, blah blah blah. But seriously...

Take into account the other commercials they've run... sloppy, grungy losers slobbering over these huge... messy... delicious... enticing... wonderful... hamburgers...

Ugughgughghgughgugghghgugugughghghgh... I'm hungry!

-----------

Oh, and of course, the day after I decide to rant about Carl's Jr.'s awful ad campaigns... they send out an absolutely hilarious press release.

A few weeks ago, a man was hitching up his pants in the restroom of one of their restaurants in Centerville, Utah, when his concealed-carry pistol went off and practically BLEW UP the toilet!

Well, they are officially holding a funeral for the toilet. Yes... you read that correctly.

See the newspaper article here.

Enter obligatory "killed in the line of doody" comments here...

But seriously... hilarious.

Am I right or am I right? I think I want a Six Dollar Burger.

Just Another Sign/Inauguration Eve

2009-01-19T06:06:00.000-08:00

As if the grey hair, the injuries, and the "get off my lawn" mentality (I'm not quite at "Gran Torino" level, though)... I've realized another indicator I'm getting old.

I entered the blog-o-sphere about two years ago... and since then, began networking and regularly reading the blogs of my friends.

However, in the last few months... I have found myself avoiding reading their posts. Why?

I can only take so many paragraphs, photos, and gushings about their "cute little bundles of joy." Don't get me wrong... I'm very happy for them and glad have a place to share their happiness with friends and family.

But yeah... maybe it's just the grunting "guy" in me. Maybe it's just a small hint of jealousy... I don't know.

It was weird enough when they all were sending me wedding announcements... but now their lives are even more unrelated to my own.

I LOVE little kids! I love my baby nephew, Carson! He's the cutest kid I've ever seen in my life (until I have my own, of course... they'll be FAR cuter than any ever seen in the history of the universe), and I'm absolutely GREAT with kids! So just know it's not an aversion to children in general.

I guess... when it was one or two friends with a new baby, it was a lot of fun to see how their lives changed with an extra person added to the relationship. Now... it's kind of old hat.

And yeah... I probably am slightly jealous of their fledgling little families.

----------

Briefly, on a different, but ever so important note...

I hope every recognizes the significance of the next few days. Whether you voted for him or not... I think anyone with any shred of patriotism and pride in our country should appreciate what will happen tomorrow in Washington D.C.

I don't think the inauguration ceremonies for President-Elect Barack Obama cam possibly be overplayed, despite how hard 24-hour news stations and talk shows may try. The day after Martin Luther King, Jr. Day... the nation's first African-American man will take the oath of office in a country where his race was once shackled and treated like animals.

It's been over 40 years since the civil rights movement formally began... and I think the timing couldn't be more perfect. I think there has been just enough time and just enough healing to avoid any backlash... be it from those who still hold tightly to the memory of the discrimination, or those who so strongly (and shamefully) opposed equality.

Race wasn't considered an issue during the election process. This week, I believe it is appropriate and absolutely necessary to highlight it. However, once Mr. Obama takes office... let's move forward and upward jointly and without any qualifiers... simply as "Americans".

The Accident Guy

2009-01-15T06:40:00.001-08:00

What the heck happened? If I worked with Kevin from NBC's "The Office", he'd be calling me "Accident Guy".

In the last six months... I have been involved in THREE separate car accidents.

I know... ridiculous.

They aren't the first accidents I've ever been involved in... I've been a passenger in a rear-ending accident twice, another minor t-bone wreck while serving a mission, and a couple spin-outs without any significant impact. But these are the first ones where I have either been behind the wheel or at fault.

The most recent happened last Thursday. I left work a few hours early because I wasn't feeling very well, and just four blocks away from the station, I get hit. The idiot tried to speed up and catch a left turn arrow, but my light had already turned green. Naturally, I started going as soon as the light changed, and by the time I looked up from a brief glance at my radio, there's that 1989 Oldsmobile turning right in front of me.

I almost came to a full stop... and literally yelled out loud, "Dang it! Not again!" before he actually ran into me...

Two guys get out, start taking pictures of my car... and then decide they want to start an argument. They claim I ran a red light (I had been sitting at a red light for over a minute before it changed) and then yelled something about me not believing them because they are Hispanic.

Yeah... dude drops the race card on me.

I just told him to go back to his car until the police showed up.

So later, he tells the cops I was on my cell phone when it happened... because he saw me on the phone after he got out of his car 25 seconds after the impact.

Hello? I had pulled it out to call 9-1-1! I was sitting in the middle of a rather large intersection!

Oh, and he didn't have a license. SHOCKER.

Anyway, I have a witness backing my story, so I'm not worried about it.

But the bottom line is this... I went almost nine years without ONE "at fault" accident. I hit that unspoke 25-year-old level where insurance rates for men typically drop... and the sky starts falling!

I guess all I can do is watch my rates go up... get my car fixed... and SUE THE PANTS OFF THAT GUY!

Just kidding. But if I wanted to, word on the street is... one call, that's all.

The Demise of Journalism

2009-01-12T19:39:00.001-08:00

Any self-respecting, ethical, and honorable journalist will, I hope, rise up with me in disgust over a recent slap in the face to our profession. As if us "left-wing liberals" don't take enough crap from the public and the talking heads out there... our credibility just took another Mike-Tyson-right-hook-to-the-chin.

Mr. Joe Wurzelbacher (a.k.a. Joe the Plumber) is currently working as a "reporter" for a "conservative website" covering the current conflict in Israel.

Apparently all it takes now is some part-time, un-certified average "Joe" to do my job. I must have been paying all that tuition money for nothing! What was I thinking? All I needed to do was find Barack Obama, ask him a pretty basic question, become the mascot for a failing campaign, and PRESTO CHANGO!! I'm a JOURNALIST!

I'm fairly new to the professional journalism world... so maybe I'm not jaded enough... but already I have faced the barrage of bigotry and simple-mindedness of the masses. Why not give him the same treatment?

Mr. Wurzelbacher's genius insight during one of his first interviews involved, "Yeah... I got tons of questions for you." followed by one worthless question... and then the other pandering media morons interviewing the guy who was supposed to be doing the interviewing.

Oh, and I won't mention how HE then attacked the press for its war coverage. I'll spare the media history lecture, but it wasn't always that way and there's good reason things are different. It's not just for ratings, folks. NO one watches news about Iraq anymore... but if we weren't keeping an eye out... hello, Gitmo!

I am the type of person who strives to live by a pretty strict code of ethics and morals. Religiously, socially, and professionally. Contrary to popular belief, I don't think that makes me much different than my colleagues. Not every member of the media is a money-grubbing, self-indulgent blowhard... and the ones who are, aren't really journalists.

Which leads me to one other point... again, trying to avoid the history lesson, I'm sick and tired of the "liberal media bias" bullcrap.

YES, during the last eight years, the headlines have been almost exclusively about scandal, intrigue, and corruption in the Republican Party.

But open those tiny, short-term memories, America! Remember the eight years prior? A Democratic President and four years in which his party controlled Congress as well. What were the headlines then?

Scandal, intrigue, and corruption in the Democratic Party. GASP!

I don't blame the up-and-coming generation for not realizing this... they're young. But SHAME on those old enough to recongize the trend. No matter who is in power in Washington, one of the primary roles of the media (whether print, radio, TV, or now, internet) is a government watchdog! Maybe it's a self-imposed responsibility, but there was once a day when we were praised for keeping our elected officials in check.

Of course, with the overabundance of news coverage on your 24-hour, fill-time-with-any-content stations, most people are tired of it.

The saddest reality I am seeing in my own profession is how we are somehow becoming like the print media in the early 1900's. Papers were essentially controlled by the party that provided the most revenue, they would print anything they wanted as long as it avoided libel, and pandered to the party platforms.

Today... hello, Newsweek. New York Times. Time Magazine. The Washington Post.

Many TRY to remain unbiased... but others are unabashed in their slant. Not to mention the endless publications intentionally meant to serve a political platform, but fly under the banner of "journalism" when in fact it's PR and opinion.

Friends, countrymen... Americans! Mark my words...

If we have eight years of a Barack Obama presidency... while things probably won't get as dismal as the Bush Presidency... the phrase left-wing liberal mainstream media will be swapped with right-wing conservative nutjobs (or something to that effect).

Why? Because we will be closely watching the movement of this Democratic dominated federal government. We'll try to help keep them in check... and instead of being praised for attempting to bring to light the dirty underbelly of American politics, we will be called biased and unfair, hated, scorned, and shunned.

Now... with all that said, let me say this.

I love what I do.

Fan Depression

2009-01-06T07:27:00.001-08:00

... it might sound a little unreasonable, but it's very real.

In medical studies conducted at the PCM (Paul Christopher McHardy) Mental Health Institute, doctors have confirmed the reality of the illness. Symptoms include sadness, heavy hearts, unexplainable outbursts, hat throwing, and grown men sobbing like babies.

Prescribed treatments include, but are not limited to, fist fights, drinking (both not advised), buffalo wings, time... or just growing up.

At least that's what mom's prescribe. My brother asked MY mom last night when he will no longer get in such a funk after watching his teams lose big games (which also happen to be my teams).

And she basically told him... when he grows up.

I wish I could dissent... but I can't. I'm in the ultimate funk right now... and it's all because of sports.

You might call that childish or stupid, but I'm not alone. In fact, this doesn't just happen in sports! Imagine your favorite band breaking up... or learning your favorite celebrity is going to jail... or...

(Actually, I realize all of those are immature and childish too)

Well, your FACE is immature and childish! I'm tellin' my mommy on you!)

----------

At least the Buckeyes showed up last night. It was one heck of a game!

I can't imagine how those seniors feel, though... I feel terrible for the perceived "legacy of losing" they leave behind, despite being one of the winningest OSU classes in history.

Quick thoughts on the game:

Loved the quarterback switches, the Terrell Pryor touchdown reception, the passion and tenacity they maintained, and the fact the Buckeyes ran the ball all over Texas.

Not so happy about Pryor's inability to throw, the fact they never ran when Boeckman was under center, and the suddenly ridiculously vulnerable secondary.

Also... if the Fiesta Bowl was, in fact, the last game of Beanie Wells' Buckeye career... you have GOT to put him in during the 4th quarter! I know... head injury... but he was walking around pretty lucidly! That game meant QUITE a bit to a LOT of people. I'm positive it wasn't Beanie 's decision, though.

Finally, to all you haters... don't even TRY to tell me Ohio State didn't belong in that game. They not only hung with the Longhorns... the controlled long portions of the game.

Now, go find someone else to hate.

Oh... and the streak continues...

A Rough Few Weeks for the Sultan of Sport

2009-01-05T06:37:00.000-08:00

I realize I originally started blogging to share my thoughts and opinions on sports. That was about a year and a half ago. Since then, that part of life hasn't been very good to me... to the point it is almost painful to try to write anything, so I got away from it.

Well I'm overdue.

The last four weeks have epitomized this difficult year and a half. Not one of the teams I have been rooting for has won a big game during the holidays. BYU/Utah... BYU/Arizona... Suns/Spurs... Vikings/Eagles... Utah/Alabama... I am sure I am forgetting others.

I was one day away from swearing off sports all together while on vacation in Ohio. But I'm finally facing my pain and offer a few "retrospective" letters about the 2008 football season.

----------

Dear BYU Football,

I am done with you. When you decide to show up for a big game, I'll be there, but until that day, you're on fanatic probation. This year it was TCU, Utah, and Arizona. Last year, frankly you were lucky to win against Utah and UCLA.

You always complain that you get no respect, and yet you fall flat on your faces on a regular basis. Look at your overall bowl schedule as an example. Hardly impressive.

I'm not here to offer criticism without suggested solutions. First... Bronco, I have an enormous amount of respect for your dedication to your principles. But believe it not, there is a time to instill a little more passion in your team than normal. Your Cougars were not ready emotionally and mentally for ANY of your big games this season and it showed.

Second... hire a defensive coordinator. Your secondary has been terrible for years and it's not just due to injury. You can still be a part of the defense, but be the HEAD coach and let someone else make the play calls.

Third... Robert Anae needs to go. I know, he came in with a highly touted offensive attack, he's a BYU grad, and he believes in the mission of the program. But his play calling has become suspect, he abandons the run too quickly, and is susceptible to panic. I don't care about whatever loyalty you have to him... do what's best for your team.

----------

Dear Utah football,

Wow.

I am supposed to hate you... I was even cheering against you when the Sugar Bowl started... but watching you beat the living crap out of an SEC team... love it.

I can't stand Kyle Whittingham. I hate the his immaturity, lack of sportsmanship, and he's the ultimate traitor. But... his passion is unmistakable, and his ability to prepare his teams for huge games is remarkable. Two PERFECT first quarters against BYU and Alabama...

Wow.

Congrats to you for your Sugar Bowl win... you won't get it, but you legitimately have an argument for a #1 ranking. As much as I hate to say it... the tide has turned in the MWC. In fact, this Utah team was two years delayed. Only injuries kept the Utes from dominating last year. Subtract some miracles the previous two Holy Wars... and Utah has a 7 year winning streak against my Cougars.

You earned my respect and I'm grateful for what you've done for the conference.

----------

Dear Vikings,

Get rid of Childress. Get a good quarterback. You have the best running back the NFL has ever seen (potentially... no disrespect, Mr. Payton), oh, and defensive secondary might be nice.

----------

Dear Buckeyes,

I am watching you as I write this. Thank you for showing up to the Fiesta Bowl. Please win for me. I know you feel it... Buckeye Nation feels it. This won't just a big win over a big school on a big stage. It's all about healing.

And besides... I freaking hate Texas.

P.S. I know Tress told you to leave... but come back for one more year, Beanie! Please?!

Love to you all,

The Sultan of Sport

Me vs. the Ice

2009-01-02T15:46:00.000-08:00

The year is only a few days old, but already I have brought clarity to a very important issue.

Scottish, white dudes do not belong in an ice skating rink.

Okay, actually, that's not true. For one, I am almost certain the guy who invited me to the ice New Year's morning has some Irish in him considering his last name and hair color. And second, that would eliminate almost 1/3 of the NHL (behind Canadians and Russians)

Maybe I just don't belong in an ice skating rink. Ice is NOT my friend.

As I alluded to in a previous post, Thursday made the SECOND time in eight years I have stepped foot on the ice. I have been trying to convince myself that the sheer fact I am able to skate at ALL is an accomplishment, but call this the understatement of the century...

I am not a very good skater.

I was invited to join a group of allegedly "untalented" skaters to play ice hockey on New Year's Day. Strangely, I was excited to try the game out... I've never had the opportunity before and I'm a fairly athletic guy, so no problem right?

Well, in case you already forgot... I am not a very good skater. I was very clearly the worst there that morning. Even some of the girls who began the day by hugging the wall ended up skating better than me. Now hand me a hockey stick and expect me to shuffle, pass, and shoot a little black puck? Hilarity ensues.

Hilarity for anyone watching that is...

You can probably figure I fell down a lot. Even choosing to lay back and play defense, it was rough going. But that was probably better for me... it got me focusing really hard on just turning, changing directions, and trying to do what I could.

It was after I gained a little confidence that things got ugly.

On one particular sequence of events, I tried to stop a much more experienced guy from skating past me. Add another notch to the "Paul falling down" tally... only this time, my own skate smacked me in the opposite shin, cutting my leg and causing a pretty nice bone bruise.

I sat skated to the bench to let the pain subside. By this point, both knees, my elbows, and shoulders had all taken a pretty good beating from the ice, but I was determined to live by the rule I was taught back in my little league baseball days...

If you get hit by the ball, you have to get back up and stand in the batters box right away. You just have to overcome that fear and pain and get "back on the horse".

So I skated back onto the ice... (someone start playing the death march song)

I don't know how it happened. I truly don't! It was literally within minutes of my return. I went back to my defensive spot to the right of the net... the puck started my direction... I skated back, filling the passing lane as best I could... but they were able to score a goal.

I pulled up, slowed down, and tried to come to a stop right next to the net...

Have you ever been punched in the face? I mean, really hard? Well, neither have I, but I imagine I now know what it might feel like. Within the blink of an eye... face, meet cold, hard ice.

Yeah, I went from standing straight up... to a full-out face plant. Well, more like the side of my face. And yes, it hurt! I almost immediately it was my pride I felt shrinking and climbing in the darkest corner of the room.

I did what every prideful dude does when he hurts himself... I gracefully tried to shake off the helping hands and play it off. They asked me if I knew who I was, I said yes. They asked if I knew why I was here, and I said "No, I have no idea what I am doing trying to play hockey." I eventually got up on my own power, and skated straight back to the bench.

A couple of the guys came over and checked my pupils to make sure I didn't have a concussion. I don't think I did... but you know that feeling you get when you're just a little out of it and you stare off into the distance without realizing it? Yeah, that was me for about 10 minutes.

I didn't say much else the rest of my time there... but I finally decided it better that I leave instead of testing the fates at another go in the game.

So today, I have a nice lump right above my right eyebrow, my jaw still hurts but at least I can chew now, and thankfully no black eyes or anything of the like.

Add to that a resolution to learn to skate better before trying to play again. I'm too old to beat myself up like this!

Twas the Night Before...

2008-12-24T20:41:00.000-08:00

It's almost midnight on the East Coast... Christmas Eve in my beloved Ohio... yeah, I'm making Santa's night a lot longer by not going to sleep, but I figure he's used to it by now. I've done this just about every year of my life.

I'm a 25 year old MAN... and I have slept without trouble on Christmas Eve once in my memory. That was five years ago... I was on my mission in North Carolina. Holidays in the mission field aren't quite the same as anywhere else... except maybe in retail. There's actually MORE work to do!

But is this appropriate? I mean, seriously... grow up, Paul! Anyone who has ever accused me of not being able to access my child-like side has 1) never seen me interact with my brothers, and 2) never seen me on Christmas Eve!

It's almost one of a few personal Christmas traditions of mine. When I was younger, I almost ALWAYS found where my parents hid the presents. Even after they learned and adapted... I would spend exuberant amounts of time searching. They never could find a location I wouldn't sniff out.

Another... I am almost ALWAYS the first one out of bed. We're not SUPPOSED to go into the room with the tree until everyone is awake and the parents give the go-ahead... but I would typically sneak down, sit in there looking at the tree, the presents, and trying to peek into the stockings without actually touching anything.

One Christmas in particular, I woke up somewhere around 3:00 a.m. I could NOT fall back asleep. So with my penny collection as chips, I shuffled up some playing cards and played poker with myself. Eventually, that got ridiculous (after one hand) so I woke up my brother... convincing him it would be a lot more fun than sleeping. (I just realized this might be my greatest accomplishment as an older brother... above convincing him to give HIMSELF a swirly)

Tonight, I choose to stay up. I took TWO naps today (you have GOT to love vacation), though I could fall asleep soon. Call it a tradition for me, but it's most likely one that won't last much longer in life. I AM becoming an old man who goes to bed before 10:00pm on a regular basis!

Some of my other more orthodox family Christmas traditions:

1) When we were very young, we performed the Nativity story. Rory was the frightened shepherds one year, and the face he made that night has forever gone down in family lore.

2) We used to go Christmas caroling (reluctantly, as most kids/teenagers do) as well as performing the 12 Days of Christmas for someone

3) More enduring is the family gift exchange. Every year (except this year... weird) we would draw a name, go to the store, and would receive $20 to spend on that person. On Christmas Eve, we open that one present. I believe this started as a compromise between my parents. My dad's side opens ALL the presents on Christmas Eve and one Santa delivers on Christmas Day. My mom didn't do this (nor do most people) so we implemented the one gift rule.

4) We open gifts one at a time from youngest to oldest. My older sister would USUALLY take the roll as the slow, tedious gift opener. I maintain it was mostly to annoy us boys who just wanted to rip into stuff.

5) We have the same meal every year. It's a family recipe... one dish is called "Helupsha" or so we think, and the other is "Krupkake". They are apparently traditional Swedish dishes passed down from my dad's mom's dad's mom (uhhh... great-great grandma?) Gustafson. We have never seen the dish anywhere else, nor can we find the etymology of the names! They've grown on me, but to be honest, I hated them growing up.

Well, that is all, my friends! Merry Christmas to one and all! I shall now, by choice, fall asleep. If I get back up because I'm restless, I'll update... but I think I'll rest well tonight.

The Prodigal Customer Service Returns

2008-12-20T22:21:00.001-08:00

Did you see this in the national news in the past week?

"The Bangalore Backlash: Call Centers Return to the U.S."

It's not ALL good news, but it is a relief to guys like me who have had to deal with the ridiculousness of foreign call centers in the past. Everyone has dealt with it... if you haven't, you live in a cave. You call the customer service line for your cable, satellite, cell phone, credit card, or any other service... once you finally GET to an agent, the conversation goes something like this:

(Thick East Indian accent) "Hello, my name is Tim, may I have your account number?"

First of all, I already entered ALL that information into the "automated" service... but that's beside the point. Secondly, your name is NOT Tim. It's probably Hajeed or something like that. I'm not being racist, I just want them to be honest with me. I'm not stupid!

The reason this is such a touchy subject for me dates back to the summer of 2005. It was the summer after I returned from the mission field and I decided to head back to North Carolina to work as a technician for Bulwark Pest Control. It promised to pay pretty well for the 3-4 months I was there, and that meant my chance to catch up on 2 years of living in extreme poverty as a missionary. (I think our monthly stipend was $125)

I bought a lot of stuff that summer... video games, movies, clothes, I even bought my first car! But it was the purchase of a laptop computer that doomed me to the deep, dark abyss of international customer service phone calls.

I won't identify the company from whom I bought the machine (but it rhymes with bell, tell, cell, and, coincidentally, Hell) but they CLAIM to have impeccable customer service. The purchase went great, got a printer for free, and then sat back and waited for UPS to deliver.

The only problem... is they never did. I got the printer and the wireless router I ordered... but the laptop itself never showed up. Finally, after waiting far longer than I probably should have, I contacted this company.

Sinking... sinking... sinking...

I got the "Tom's" and the "Robert's" and the "Michelle's"... each of whom had a remarkably distinct Indian accent. I spent the first week negotiating with "Bell" computers and UPS to file a lost package report. Once I finalized that process, I assumed all would be solved. UPS was supposed to come pick up the stuff "Cell" computers had already shipped and I would be refunded every penny.

HA!

One month later, I started getting collections calls. "You owe "Smell" computers $300 and your account has been sent to collections. Please contact us, Mr. McHardy!"

So the next process of phone calls began. Apparently, "Fell" computers did not have any provision for communication between their customer service and financing departments. I'd call customer service and they would promise one thing... then I would call financing and they wouldn't have any record of it... and vice versa!

Unfortunately, I didn't document my phone calls... but between my personal cell phone (1000 anytime minutes) and my work cell phone (700 anytime minutes), I went over on BOTH bills by at least 200 minutes. You see, despite the call centers being located in India and Bangalore... they're apparently only open 9am-5pm EST! Not conducive to limited minutes on a cell phone plan.

Yeah, I know... it was ridiculous...

This lasted 3 months... I would spend about an hour talking to both entities... think I found a solution, and then I would receive another phone call from the collection agency...

Overall, I would say two things most definitely doomed me in this experience. One, the miscommuncation between the two arms of the company. I could never get the same agent to talk to me, and when I would reach a break through, that information was never passed on to the other department.

Second, the language barrier. Trying to talk intricacies of financing issues with someone who doesn't understand basic sentence structure of the English language is pretty difficult.

Oh, and I almost forgot how many times I was BLIND transferred to another department, resulting in being hung up on repeatedly! At LEAST 4 times, I spent a good 30 minutes explaining everything to the agent, only to be disconnected while on hold, waiting for a manager, or while being transferred.

Anyway, I digress...

In the end, I had to request time off from my job to return to the office, get on a land line, and dedicate as much time as possible to solve the problem. I immediately asked for a manager (and in the process, argued for 5 minutes with the agent just to GET a manager, and then was hung up on when they attempted to connect me! So I had to call back and argue AGAIN with another agent)

This time I documented the call. After about an hour and a half, I made sure he fixed absolutely everything before I finally hung up the phone.

Three months, two overcharged cell phones, three hours of missed work, and pain and suffering like you wouldn't believe.

I wrote a letter to "Pell" documenting everything I went through. About a month after returning to school, I received a call from one of their customer relations VP's. She apologized, and promised to reimburse me for some postage costs... and that totaled a whopping $12.00.

Anyway, long story short... I couldn't be happier to see I'm not alone in my frustrating with this infuriating system. I still experience the awful foreign customer service when I call T-Mobile, Sirius Satellite, or DirecTV... but maybe they'll catch on soon as well.

I'll pay the extra dollar for a fluent rep... just bring the care back into "customer care", people! It's worth it!

For those of you who, for some reason, haven't figured it out, I'm talking about Dell Computers. They are now forever on my list of companies to boycott, including Wal-Mart, McDonald's, and Abercrombie & Fitch.

This is definitely one of those boycotts that comes with legitimate reason. Good riddance.

Resist the New

2008-12-17T06:07:00.001-08:00

If you have spent any amount of extended time with me, you may have heard me reference the Meyers/Briggs temperament sorter when talking about my personality traits. It's a family thing... my mom became fascinated by it a long time ago and I first took the test when I was in my early teenage years.

I don't claim to be the expert at interpreting everything about it, but it has taught me a lot about myself.

The reason I bring this up... I learned more about myself while ice skating recently. I haven't been ice skating in the range of eight years or so. I realized it would be a bold move for me, but I didn't realize just how much it would affect me.

I'm pretty comfortable with who I am. In fact, it's an achievement I am pretty proud to claim. I'm very confident with the man I have become and the path my life is on. But as much as I hate to admit it, I don't adjust well to "new" things. I typically end up enjoying the "new thing"... but getting me to do it can be a little laborious.

Take my hairstyle, for example. (Of course I'd go to something image related... for those of you who don't know... I'm a closet metrosexual. I play tough, but I'm pretty fashion conscious. If I had the money, I'd live at J. Crew and Banana Republic)

I have been trying to grow out my hair for probably four years. I want to try something "new"... a longer hairstyle. But every time I try, I can't get past a certain length before my hair freaks out on me and I lose patience. I know if I were to just let it go for a week or so longer, it would become more manageable... but I can't get past it. (And I'm trying it again right now... I'll keep you posted on whether I make it or not)

Or how about skiing? I've never been skiing in my entire life. I've never been snowboarding as well. I'd LIKE to, but my apprehension is almost crippling.

I would love to be able to wakeboard... or do some cliff jumping... or rock climb.

But they're new things to me... call them phobias if you want. But either way, it's a big step for me to do any of them.

To counter this trait, every now and then I'll try a new restaurant. I'll just pick out a random place, go inside and check it out. I've very rarely been disappointed, but eventually I find myself heading back to the same old places, getting the same old things.

I'm a creature of habit. When I'm outside of the habit, or that comfort zone, I feel pretty vulnerable. I think that's pretty normal for most people... whatever the comfort zone, take them outside of it and they feel vulnerable.

And that brings me back to the ice skating.

I only fell once, but man I felt silly. I found myself out of my comfort zone. I was working up a sweat just trying to stand up, not to mention trying not to run over little kids zooming around the rink.

I felt insecure and uncertain. It's probably stupid to feel that way... but that little dose of insecurity has really infected me.

So what did I learn? I learned to recognize when it happens. I learned the insecurity I felt wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It means I am going outside myself, a long-standing goal of mine. Now that I know how to recognize it I can better manage my reaction. It might even give me the confidence to try even more new things.

Maybe now I'll finally hit the slopes this winter after almost five years surrounded by the greatest snow on earth!

Fickle Fans

2008-12-08T07:19:00.000-08:00

My white blood cells are still carrying away the last remaining damaged bits of my vocal chords today... this is almost six days after a night of screaming, chanting, cheering, yelling, and all around disruptive behavior at one of the most entertaining basketball games I've ever seen.

BYU and Utah State met at Energy Solutions Arena in Salt Lake City on Saturday evening. Setting aside the complains by Aggie fans about the Cougars "being afraid" to play in Logan... it was a neutral site for the teams.

The west side of the arena was flushed out with dark, Aggie-blue shirts, clever signs (and others not-so-clever), and rowdy, noisy fans!

The east side of the arena... was... well... BYU "fans". They were told to wear white... but there were pockets of blue... green... brown... and heaven forbid, RED.

The Aggies were loud... they were intense... they were passionate!

The Cougar fans... fickle as always.

It's my biggest frustration with BYU sports. Your average, run of the mill BYU fan is an absolute MORON! It drives me crazy! My hats off to the 15% of those who really get it... they wear white during a "white-out", they know the cheers, the players, the traditions (if you can even say those exist at BYU)... but the remaining 85%? Just go home and watch it on TV.

Not only do they not know how to "participate" as the audience... but they don't even understand the game they're watching! Don't get me wrong... it's okay to be ignorant of what happened... but don't start yelling at the referees when you have no idea what is going on!

I'm a product of the Mid-West... Big Ten football and basketball. My first college game was OSU vs. Michigan State... and WOW, it was so intense in that arena as the Buckeyes beat a REALLY good Spartan squad (this was the years of Mateen Cleeves and the team that went to the championship)

Ever watched a Penn State football game? Yeah... 100,000+ people, all dressed in white, screaming their hearts out for FOUR QUARTERS!!!

I have been told, while cheering on the Cougars, to "please keep my voice down" by a woman sitting in front of me, covering the ears of her sleeping infant!!!

There is a reason fans go to the game... to CHEER on their team! Cheering is not polite clapping! There are some limits... like the ones that most drunk NFL fans violate all the time! But celebrating an amazing play... venting frustration... or simply making noise to intimidate the other team is PART OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AS A FAN!

Get with it BYU! We can't tout a proud tradition of athletic excellence without a proud tradition of "fan-dom"! I applaud the efforts of people like those who established the "Cougar Town" initiative... but unfortunately, it has to come from within.

Cougar fans, reach deep within your hearts and souls and unify! Watch a game or two with the Duke or Michigan State crowds! These are your mentors!

Go to the games! There there on TIME! Pay attention! Learn what REALLY constitutes a travel, a foul, holding, pass interference... these are simple tasks!

But I know you can do it...

In the meantime, I will dream of the day when I won't be one of the few with true Cougar passion and pride...

And if that doesn't work, I've always got my Buckeyes!

The Drought

2008-12-04T20:30:00.000-08:00

I got nothing.

No really, I really have nothing.

I don't know what's wrong... is my brain broken? Maybe I'm just worn out. Maybe there's really nothing interesting going on.

But I don't know why I have nothing to talk about right now. For about two weeks, I have been trying to think of something really great... but I can't think of anything.

The Suns are dreadful... both of my college football teams are 10-2, but out of BCS contention... so no sports news.

The economy sucks, but we all know that... what more can I say? At least I am lucky enough to have a job!

Good thing I have vacation coming up near the end of this month... I seem to really need it! Hopefully it will rejuvenate my creative blogging juices!

Until then, I apologize for not keeping you all entertained.

The Tale of Two Quarterbacks

2008-11-24T05:53:00.000-08:00

What a difference a day makes...

The 2008 Holy War featured two top 15 teams... and a lot of questions on both sides of the ball.

For the Cougars, it was a porous and depleted defensive secondary, along with an average linebacker corps.

For the Utes, a Jekyll and Hyde offense that regularly laid an egg until the very last possession of the game.

But what wasn't expected was the drastic paradigm shift at quarterback.

One was a Heisman candidate... he was in the top five in quarterback rating, passing yards, and touchdowns. He's on pace to set a host of records at one of the most prolific quarterbacking schools in the nation.

The other... a 5th year senior... part of the 2004 Fiesta Bowl team, but injury-prone, lack-luster without the Urban Meyer offense, and always on the verge of dropping the proverbial ball.

But then November 22nd rolled around... and the universe shifted on a dime.

Utah quarterback Brian Johnson's stat line:
30-36, 303 yards, 4 TD passes, along with 28 yards on the ground, and no turnovers. At one point... he was 12 for 12 with two TD passes in the first half.

BYU quarterback Max Hall's stat line:
21-41, 205 yards, NO TD passes for the first time this season, FIVE interceptions and a fumble. That's a total of six turnovers.

Brian Johnson wasn't flashy... but he was poised. He played within the scheme, completed the short passes and let his athletes make the plays after the catch. When he was under pressure, he scrambled and regularly got a first down.

Max Hall was flustered. He has so many passes knocked down, I think the stats people stopped keeping track. I can't find (in my EXHAUSTIVE search... sarcasm, people) the total number of tipped passes, but frankly, the Utes should have intercepted 3-4 more passes that they knocked down instead.

I'm not about to throw Max under the bus... but in the two biggest games of the year, he looked like a deer in headlights half the time. He got frustrated by two prolific defensive teams, and showed the poise of a 12 year old.

His reaction reminds me of... well, me, when I was playing little league baseball. It was a playoff game, and I had been pitching really well. In fact, just a week before, I had pitched 4 solid shut out innings against this same team in our season finale, so I was pretty confident coming in.

But then one guy got a hold of my fastball... home run! The next batter did likewise and landed a ground rule double. That's when I got frustrated and angry... so I threw the ball even HARDER. Which did absolutely nothing to change things... if you're familiar with batting, it's all about timing, and the harder the ball is thrown, the further it goes if you get the bat on it. Another ground rule double and three home runs later, the coach finally pulled me.

Utah put a lot of pressure on Hall, but he found a way to get things done... for 2 1/2 quarters. But I knew when the game was over. BYU had just stopped the Ute offense a second time in the third, and were in position to take the lead. On 2nd and 2, the perfect set up for a play action pass, Robert Anae called for another run. The Cougars got a first down... but the VERY next play, they tried the play action... and Utah intercepted it. An INCREDIBLE interception, but nonetheless... that sealed the deal. Something snapped in Max's head, and he became the 12 year old pitcher trying to force things in that shouldn't be forced... and three turnovers and 21 points were the result.

I make no excuses for BYU... Utah capitalized on some horrendous mistakes. But I was disappointed to see what was a very evenly matched game turn into a debacle! Both sides were constantly making adjustments... the chess match was SO visible, it was amazing! But then the walls of Jericho came crashing down...

Hats off to the Utes... enjoy the bragging rights for now... the countdown begins to the day we take it back... 364... 363... 362...

Fight Songs

2008-11-18T11:11:00.001-08:00

It was a tough decision, trying to decide what color to wear all week. You see, it's rivalry week, but my two college teams wear red (scarlet) and blue... but each has rivals with the opposite color: blue and red.

Ultimately, I decided on Cougar Blue. There's far more on the line in the Holy War this year than there is in "The Game". BYU and Utah has BCS implications. Ohio State and Michigan... largest spread in the history of the rivalry, and Michigan already has the most losses in a season ever WITHOUT the inevitable loss to the Buckeyes.

But side note: Have you ever really listened to the lyrics of some fight songs? Utah's is among the worst... how CHEESY can you get? I decided I should help them improve the words to "Utah Man"... after all, the lyrics should match the way the song sounds, right? (Sing along by clicking here)

So here's the first verse (it's too painful to listen to it too much, so one verse is all that's needed):

M-I-C K-E-Y, M-O-U-S-E
We all go to Mickey Mouse University
We wish that Urban never left, because he made the Muss,
And we won't believe that he was simply using us.

Chorus:
We all wanted to go to BYU
But we got rejected, so now we're at the "U"

(Just repeat twice... any more would be too complicated for Utah fans anyway)

"I wish I went to the Y... Go Cougs!"

Also... Swoop? What the heck is that thing all about? I thought they were Utes... you know, from the American Indian tribe? Did Ute Indians train hawks or something?

Get a real mascot!

Now... that said... we BETTER win tomorrow! TRUE BLUE BYU!

(I love rivalry week!)

There IS a God, and He IS Merciful

2008-11-13T16:52:00.000-08:00

Hallelujah! HALLELUJAH!

I drove home from work today... and raised my fist into the air in a pump of exuberance for seeing $1.99 on almost every gas station along the way. In the last month, we've seen gas prices absolutely tumble! This summer, I took a picture of myself filling up at a gas station in Park City for double that price... and for a month or so, I was regularly filling up around $4.25 a gallon.

It wasn't always like this for us... remember? In high school, I would have been raising that fist in a fit of rage at the ridiculous price gouging of $1.99 a gallon.

I used to love when I could drive from my house out to Zanesville, Ohio... that's because there was a Flying J along the way that was always about $0.10 cheaper than the rest of the stations in town. I remember buying gas there for $0.79 once... and I remember on a road trip as a kid, waking up in the middle of the night to see my parents filling up the tank at $0.69.

It was the night of Y2K that I saw prices SKYROCKET up to the ridiculous price of $1.29! We had to prepay for our gas... because they didn't want people driving away, upset that they were gouging us for "panic" gasoline. (PS I was driving an hour and a half away for a New Year's Eve party... I was not "stocking up")

It was sometime after I graduated high school that I lost track of prices. I never drove, and when I did, I rarely paid for gas.

I served a mission in North Carolina from 2002-2004, and I never paid attention to the price there either. At least, until our fleet gas card stopped working... and we later figured out that high gas prices were causing us to reach the card's limit much faster than anticipated. Of course, even then, the highest I remember paying was somewhere in the neighborhood of $1.79.

I bought a car the year after I got home. I drove it from a summer job in NC all the way to Utah (it broke down in between, but that's another story). The school year after that, I remember watching the price slowly creep from near $3.00 all the way to $2.03 at the Sinclair station on my way to campus... but that's as low as it ever got. Every day I drove past the station, I would try to encourage the sign to be lower the next morning.

"Come on, you know you can do it... just drop 5 more cents before tomorrow!"

Then this summer. With hurricanes, an increasingly larger demand, and greedy cartels... the price just kept climbing. It reached over $5.00 in some parts of the country... and I'm almost positive I heard $6.00 in others. (Europeans, I don't need to hear how terrible it is for you over there... America is better and I don't care)

I kid... but this was no laughing matter. I remember thinking how different life was going to be. I even started getting used to seeing the gas pump approach $50 a fill-up for my tiny little coupe sports car.

And just when I started accepting the inevitable...

There IS a God, and He IS merciful! A MIRACLE!!

Granted, this miracle comes at the expense of a recession, tumbling markets, and one of the worst crises in my lifetime.

But hey, I can fill up for under $25.00 now. I'm almost EXCITED for the next time my gas gauge reaches empty, so I can watch as the pump automatically turns off BELOW $20.00. I started thinking about all the places I can go now, because it will only cost me half as much as it did earlier this year. I want to road trip, and just drive because I CAN!

All I know is I feel nostalgic and a little giddy! I thought I would never see a "1" on a gas station sign again in my lifetime!

In fact, in a small town about 100 miles north of Cheyenne, Wyoming, they're only paying $1.45 a gallon! That's the lowest price I could find as I searched the "internets" yesterday at work! Back home in Ohio, $1.69! Even the old fashioned "gas wars" have started back up. There are five stations along this stretch of road to get from the freeway to my house... and I see each of them trying to compete with the other. One typically drops first... and without fail, the other four gradually match or BEAT that price within a day! I LOVE IT!

Could you even IMAGINE driving up to a station where the sign said $1.29 again? Just one month ago... I would have laughed at you!

After a summer of grilling oil "experts" and legislators, asking WHY the prices going so high, I never got one satisfactory answer. To me, there was no way the world's population suddenly became so much more demanding of the oil industry that justified such high prices and RIDICULOUS profits for Big Oil.

But at least for now... I feel somewhat better. Those same experts said we could approach $10 a gallon. They said they didn't anticipate low prices again in our lifetime.

But they're here. Whether or not they're here to stay is debatable.

But at least for now... I will rejoice! I will be happy! And maybe now we'll see policy changes to help keep it this way.

The last thing I want is another "old man-ism" creeping into my system..

"Back in my day, we paid almost $5.o0 a gallon for gas! You kidses have it so easy!"

The King of the Stiff Arm

2008-11-11T16:12:00.000-08:00

In case it wasn't readily apparent... last week's deep-end dive into the electoral process thoroughly wore me out and I haven't had the strength left to sit and put the electrical pulses that are my thoughts down in letter and script.

(I'm attempting to wax elegant... and yes, I find it just as funny as you do)

But wait for it... here's the segue...

But you know who DOES have a ridiculous amount of strength? Beanie-freaking-Wells!

Watching Ohio State tear up Northwestern was enjoyable for, oh, so many reasons, but most of all was watching a healthy Beanie walk all over the Wildcat defense! When he is at full power... it is a thing of beauty to watch this BEAST of a back work his magic.

Tackle his legs, he hurdles you. Catch him from behind, he'll drag you like a horse pulling a carriage with no wheels. And try to tackle him up top...

Hello face, meet the steel beam of Beanie's stiff arm!

So instead of trying to DESCRIBE the "King of the Stiff Arm"... I'll let him do all the talking. Hope you enjoy this as much as I do.

A Little Clarification

2008-11-05T06:01:00.001-08:00

I am very disappointed that I had to censor my last posting. If you have anything negative to say about someone else's political opinions, you may please post it somewhere else.

However, one of the nice things about the responses I did get on there... was I had some very enlightening and interesting conversations with a few of you... including my dad. It helped me realize some things about my own opinions and feelings in this election.

So, I want to offer some clarification.

I am not an Obama supporter like those you saw on television last night. I wasn't screaming about how amazingly different everything will be. I wasn't sobbing or jumping in jubilation.

I recognize something in this whole craziness. The President is only one man. Granted, he is the top enchilada in the last remaining world superpower. But I do not believe he is going to enter the White House and suddenly fix all our problems. Unfortunately, I get the impression that many of those who attended the rallies nationwide last night, believe that will happen. It won't.

He's one man... one man in a government with three different branches. Yes, he can have a very strong influence in each (especially in the Legislative... one thing I do fear in all this is an overwhelming Democratic majority... leading to an onslaught of retributive legislation)... but he can do nothing save he works with all of them.

The process will be long. It will be hard. But it's a start.

When I filled in that little circle on my ballot for Barack Obama... I felt, in a way, it was a test of my faith. Eight years ago, I laid a similar faith on the line for another young, debonair candidate who promised unity... and I feel our country has become more divided now than ever before.

At least until last night.

I truly feel that I can trust him. As I listened to his speech, I felt a sense of confidence like I haven't felt while listening to politician in a long time. He knows the gravity of what he faces, and in that humility, I felt he exposed his true longing for a unified, bi-partisan federal government. I have faith that Barack Obama will maintain who is he... and that he will be a President for every American. He will listen. He will compromise. He will strive to work with the other side of the aisle.

Unfortunately, John McCain would have entered the office with the cards already laid against him. I think he wanted that same unity... but he never could shake the label of an avid supporter of Pres. Bush... and that is something the country is ready to leave behind.

I also felt sincerity throughout his campaign. Barack Obama avoided stooping to mudslinging whenever he could. I could be wrong... over the 20 months, I am sure I missed some point where he got his hands dirty. But even in the hotly contested primaries... I felt he gave respect to Hillary Clinton, and when he did grill her on issues, it was done tastefully.

John McCain seemed quite the opposite... when facing a stiff challenge against Mitt Romney in the primaries, he went the way of old Washington politics. He found one point, skewed the facts, and harped on it over and over and over... wasting hours of precious debate and campaign time. ("You specifically said the word TIME TABLES!" GASP!) Did it work? Yes. Is that the type of person I want leading my country? Probably not.

Most of all, I feel it's time for a fresh slate for our country. International relations are simply terrible right now. I know that a move away from the Bush administration will mend a lot of broken ties. Some call this a move that opens channels for terrorists. I don't think so. I believe our country is beyond the point of downplaying the threat of terrorism. Eight years ago, a Democrat wouldn't have been able to handle the situation... (heaven forbid, Al Gore during 9-11? Yikes...) But in today's ever evolving political world, I believe either side is prepared to face reality.

A fresh slate... to help clear the minds of the disenchanted. To bring many back to the fold of the American dream. It's all about perception.

Ultimately, though... whether four years from now... or eight... I am almost positive people will be sick of Barack Obama too. They will be ready for more change. It always happens. People put too much faith in the one man and lose site of the whole system... and he will take the blame. Just as George Bush has taken the blame for a lot of things that happened during his presidency that aren't necessarily his fault.

That's the tunnel vision of American politics. George Bush was the change we needed in 2000. Barack Obama is the change we need in 2008. (Fill-in the blank) is the change we will need in 2012 (or 16).

But finally, let me just say one last thing. I tread lightly as I do... because I want to express this in a way that will come under no misinterpretation. As a young, 25-year-old American citizen who grew up in predominantly suburban areas... I've never really understood racism. Race has never been an issue for me. I have had, do have, and will have amazing friends from all walks of life. I don't know why people are so hateful... or why the color of someone's skin makes them better than someone else. I recognize I have never been on the front lines of racial discrimination, but I'd like to think that if I was, I would stand up for equality. I feel confident that many people my age feel the same way.

That said... I didn't vote for Barack Obama based on his race, color, ethnicity, gender, or anything else. But as I listened to him speak last night, I felt somewhat overwhelmed at the significance of his election. How wonderful it must be for so many people who HAVE been on the front lines of the fight for racial equality. For them, this means so much more than I will ever understand... and I couldn't be more proud.

I am proud of America... for listening to Barack Obama as a human being, not as a black man. For, in a sense, leaving the past behind us, healing wounds far beyond the comprehension of many in my generation... and electing him because we felt he would lead us the right way into the future.

In all of the overabundance of emotions last night... I shed a few tears of joy in that moment... when my heart was touched to know how this could heal our nation in a way I have always dreamed of... and many others before me never thought possible.

Go Vote!

2008-11-03T05:38:00.000-08:00

First off... let me say this. GO VOTE!!

It's your duty, your responsibility... but most important, it is an honor and a blessing to have a CHOICE! Like you need to hear it from me... every celebrity on the face of the planet has been harping on it forever, but no excuse is a good excuse. If you think NOT voting is your way of making a statement... you're naive. GO VOTE!

Secondly... well, frankly it's a topic I've been trying to decide how to do justice to for about two weeks. (which is another way of saying I've been avoiding it...)

Let me first reiterate something... I am an independent voter. I made that decision even before becoming a journalist, but now I'm an even more dedicated indepent. I never have and never will align myself with any particular party.

I cast my ballot through early/absentee voting about two weeks ago. I properly educated myself on most of the key issues, both inside and outside of the presidential race.

And I cast my vote for Barack Obama.

I hope that my preface does not give the impression that I am by ANY means ashamed of my choice. I am, in fact, very proud of my decision! My trepidation, however, is well founded.

I come from pretty conservative backgrounds. I live in a very conservative state, attended one of the most conservative universities, and the vast majority of my friends are registered Republicans. My grandfather bleeds Republican red, and my own father, though independent, has strong inclinations towards the right. So I fully anticipate some surprise to this declaration. Up until this point, I have told a very select few about my vote... but I'm not expecting any backlash from family or friends... I just know what the initial reaction may be.

There are many things I agree with Obama on and many things I disagree with him on... but the same goes for John McCain. I was a strong supporter of McCain back in 2000. I think he would have handled a lot of what we've been through as a nation much better than George W. Bush... but I don't feel that it is his time now.

Speaking merely for myself, I'm not happy with where we are now, and while I don't think Barack Obama has all the answers... I am a strong believer that a change of pace is sometimes necessary for improvement. It's kind of like an offensive game plan in football... you can't just pound the ball up the gut all day long... you need a little play action or a change of pace running back... otherwise you end up like the Minnesota Vikings (what I mean by that is... you suck). Thats not my only reason... but it's a big one.

I don't think the country is going to become a socialist, economic disaster with a Democrat at the helm. Let's be reasonable... we've had some good years under Democratic presidents just like we've had with Republican ones.

It's rather cliche for me to say that I am endorsing Barack Obama... my endorsement doesn't mean much anyway. And frankly, I'm not here to justify or explain WHY I voted for him... but I did feel compelled to share who I chose to be my next president.

I am grateful that I was raised knowing I am free to make my own decisions... in my life, in my faith, and in my political views. I am grateful for parents who taught me the importance of educating myself and making a responsible choice.

I am grateful for choice. I am proud to be an independent voter. And most importantly, I am proud to be an American.

The Fall Classic... and Classic Blunders

2008-10-27T05:36:00.001-07:00

The World Series is going on right now... it's actually almost over, considering the Rays decided to leave their pitching in the toilet before the series started.

But STILL... it's the World Series!

Didn't you know? Why not? If you haven't been paying attention, you should be ashamed of yourself. Okay, so it's been awhile since we saw a really dramatic Series... the playoffs have been exciting in the last decade, but once we get to the actual showdown, it's been a pretty strong blow out in the last six years. The last really exciting Series was the Angels and Giants in 2002.

But I mean, come on!! It doesn't have to be the Red Sox or Yankees or Dodgers for it to be entertaining! Turn on your television sets, sports fans! And even you casual sports consumers! I gained my love for sport by watching the 1991 World Series! Do it for the kids!

But that's just a sidebar thought to what I really wanted to mention today.

The true reason I am thinking about the World Series? The umpires.

If you aren't a Phillies or Rays fan, you can still find some intriguing action watching the umpires completely blow call after call after call!

A beautiful barehanded catch by Philadelphia's Ryan Howard at first place CLEARLY ahead of the baserunner stepping on first... and he's called SAFE!

Shane Victorino is CLEARLY tagged out at third base last night... I mean, by a MILE... but he's called SAFE!

And some of these strikes the home plate umpires have been calling... WOW! Nolan Ryan would have trouble finding where to throw!

Aren't these guys supposed to be the best in the league! That IS why they're asked to officiate games like these, isn't it?

Maybe the league is so worried about TV ratings, they're asking them to blow calls simply to raise intrigue? No, I'm only kidding... and frankly, the Victorino call is a moot point because the Phillies rocked the Rays 10-2 last night.

But give me a break! I haven't been a proponent of instant replay anywhere but on the homerun calls... but I might have to change my position on this one! I'm not alone in noticing the disparity in this year's officiating...

Just ask Don Denkinger how instant replay might have changed his life after Game 6 of the '85 World Series...

Melted Cheese Hates Me

2008-10-23T19:09:00.000-07:00

I'm having a hard time getting motivated to post this week... the first few days were so busy, I haven't wanted to do much otherwise.

As some of you know, I was in need of purchasing a new vehicle, so I spent a lot of time on the phone and on the internet figuring out insurance and financing issues... as well as trying to locate a car in my price range. (Found one, by the way... got a STEAL on a 2006 Honda Civic)

But that's not why I'm in sitting here in front of my laptop right now... I am here typing because...

Melted cheese hates me.

So I was going to cook a nice batch of enchiladas tonight... but the task of preparing the chicken, putting it all in tortillas, and then baking it all in the oven was far too daunting for a guy who was already feeling so lazy... so I grabbed the frozen pizza in the fridge and popped that in the oven.

I hate waiting for food to cook... I usually don't think about eating until I am already really hungry. So I like to eat as soon as I can.

And that's why melted cheese hates me...

I took the pizza out of the oven... cut it up... went back to watching the World Series... and that's when the piping hot cheese on top of my pizza burned the BEJEEBERS out of the roof of my mouth!

I typically spend about a third of my life with a burned mouth... and I really hate it. Why can't I just wait until it cools?

It's been this way... ever since I was a young, cheese-eating child... and it wasn't always pizza either. One of my favorite meals growing up was my mom's broccoli casserole. She kept it in the oven on "warm" until everything was ready... and then we'd sit down to eat. Without fail... I'd stuff a nice big bite in my mouth too quickly and 'SSSSSSS'! Burned mouth!

Same with scalloped potatoes... just eating way too fast! I've even burned my mouth on CHEESE BREAD!

Am I really that impatient? Or just that big of a moron?

Brushing my teeth tomorrow will be interesting...

Signs of the Aged

2008-10-15T17:23:00.000-07:00

A couple weekends ago, I was talking to my mom on the phone. I recounted a couple of recent injuries I sustained while playing basketball, complaining about how I always seem to hurt myself right when I feel like I am getting into shape. That's when she said something to me that sent me into a panic:

"Well, you're becoming what's called a 'weekend warrior' Paul."

Suddenly I was dipped into a vat of greasy, boiling despair as I realized something... "Weekend Warrior" is just another way of saying my body is getting old.

Which means I AM GETTING OLD!

I've always joked about it, but it's true... I am getting old. So I've compiled the Top Five Signs that I, Paul McHardy, am officially becoming an old man:

1) Slowly healing wounds -

I've never hurt myself really bad... but when I have done something to injure this devastatingly GORGEOUS body of mine (sorry... watching too much Michael Kelso on "That 70's Show") I usually would heal at a much faster pace than the average bear. Sprained ankle? I'll be playing basketball within weeks. Broken nose? Never swelled up, pretty much healed in days. Appendectomy? Took two pain pills and was playing basketball within two weeks.

These days... a bruised shoulder from football? It stays bruised for weeks. Sprained finger? Swollen for a long time and worried whether it will ever be the same. Strain a tiny muscle in my knee? Almost two month later, it's still really tight in the mornings and gets sore after overuse.

2) Grey hair (for some reason, I feel like spelling it with an "e" makes it a little more glamorous) -

It started about two years ago... open sun roof on a really clear day and I looked in the rearview mirror to discover one single, long strand of grey hair. A few more cropped up about a year ago, but they were almost invisible unless my hair got really long. I even tried pulling out the singular strands in a hope they'd give up and go away.

These days... long or short, the grey hair is always there. It goes away when my hair is styled and wet looking, though.

The good news is I've been told by more than a few girls (who's opinions I greatly respect... and appreciate...) that I will make one good-looking, grey-haired, old man.

3) An interest in the world of politics -

I hated politics in high school. Debate team was just an excuse for angry, bitter teenagers to release their angst on one another in a condescending, "I'm better than you" fashion. I distanced myself from all conversations regarding elections, controversial issues... I deemed myself an independent voter... with moderate values that leaned conservatively.

These days... I work in the news business. (This is the NEWS BUSINESS!!) I find myself intrigued in local, state, and national political races and issues. I am involved in a campaign to change the tax code (www.fairtax.org you should check it out!) and I enjoy the occasional conversation about political issues (so long as no close-minded, bigoted, partisan moron is participating)

4) Golf -

Need I say more?

Golf was the "sport" I used to fall asleep to when it was on television. The "putt-putt" version was the activity I took girls to on dates.

Now, I've driven from Salt Lake to St. George just to play on my Grand-dad's course. I covet clubs I see in stores. I plan on getting a set and using them often with my guy friends next spring. I even picked up a book that would teach me to get rid of my slice. I know what a slice IS!

Yeah, I've had a lot of friends who played golf for a long time, but I always teased them... saying it's the thing old guys do when they get too frail to play basketball or football. I still play both... but I really enjoy a round of nine holes on a beautiful, sunny day!

5) An annoyance with teenagers -

I've always felt a little more mature than my years would suggest. I didn't get involved in a lot of the petty, pithy activities many kids would do. I felt I always thought on a much higher level and had an emotional maturity to outmatch any of my friends.

But the latest developments have nothing on those years. I almost uttered the words "What is wrong with teenagers these days?"

AHHH!! (Old man voice) "Back in my day, kids didn't act like that. We were decent!" Those are the words of a jaded old man who wants to get renegade punks off of his grass!

Their hair... clothing... iPods and cell phones... attitudes. They all drive me crazy! I actually really feel that kids today are so much more spoiled and self-centered than my generation EVER was!

I know.... ust get me a rocking chair. I'll be telling you the forecast based on the pain in my knees before you know it.

Late-Night Creativity

2008-10-13T06:16:00.000-07:00

I think I've discovered my own personal substitute for illicit drug use...

Allow me to explain myself. Generally, some very talented musicians (including some of my absolute favorites, i.e. Incubus, the Beatles, etc.) have used certain narcotics on a regular basis. One Incubus album in particular can be attributed to a beach front recording studio and a certain "special room" where they sought inspiration from Mary Jane. (What a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party...) I found a much more legal substitute... although whether or not it's healthy is debatable.

Late Saturday night (okay... it had been Sunday for a couple of hours) I was driving up the freeway to my home in Holladay from American Fork, Utah. It's about a 35-40 minute drive... and that late at night, it's closer to 30-35. (What? I'm just driving, man!)

Anyway... as I fought off dozing on the way home... I suddenly had an onslaught of ideas for my blog! I typically wait to post until something just jumps out at me and I come up with a creative way of introducing the topic... so this stream of consciousness was quite welcome!

The ideas continued to flow after I got out of the car... walked inside... and got ready for bed!

Then... I went to sleep.

I woke up the next morning, went to church, and by the time I got home that afternoon... nothing. For the life of me, I could NOT remember all those amazing ideas! I know that one of them was the perfect way of telling the story of my sprained left pinkie finger! But that fabulous WAY of telling the story was completely gone. Last night before hitting the sack, I tried really hard to remember... but I couldn't...

So you see how this relates to my favorite musicians? In the moment, inspiration flows freely! Once the effects wear off... meh! Same goes for me when I am up WAY past my bedtime!

In light of this recent discovery, I've set a goal for myself.

It's a goal for me... it's a promise to you, my loyal readers.

No matter how tired I might be... I will at the least, write down my ideas. If I am feeling really good about myself, I might even crack open my laptop and hammer out at least a rough sketch of a post, if not an finished product!

Given my history of "gumption"... it's a goal I need to work hard to accomplish. I'm not a quitter... I'm just often not a starter.

I'm so happy I found my "marijuana".

(Special prize to the person who identifies my intentional "factual" error first)

"Garfield" Makes So Much Sense Now

2008-10-06T13:36:00.000-07:00

3:50 A.M.
The alarm softly fires up, slowly increasing its intentionally grating and shrill buzzer. I reach over, find the snooze button... and zonk...

4:02 A.M.
The "insurance" alarm goes off. This time, I know I've got to start rousing. The first one is just make certain I leave deep sleep. This is the alarm I need to start paying attention to... but I hit snooze one more time and drift back to sleep...

4:10 A.M.
One last time... that infuriating noise starts again, and I reach over to turn it off. It's hard to get up today. My eyes are dry and hard to open; my allergies aren't terrible, but I need to clear the nasal passages; it's pretty chilly in my room too! I clamber out of bed, grab some clothes, and make the dark walk to the shower. This will wake me up...

4:21 A.M.
I'm done showering... I need to hurry and dress so I'll have time to eat breakfast without having to inhale on the way out the door. I want to look a little nicer today... there are people I want to think I look good today! Dark green button-down, khaki cargos... comfortable, but nice. Heck, I work in radio... I only have to look so good.

4:30 A.M.
It's really dark this morning! I can hardly see my way up the stairs and into the kitchen before turning on the lights. I get a bowl of cereal, and say a small blessing on my meal, asking for this week to go a little better than the previous one. The last thing I need is another week like the that... what a disaster!

4:41 A.M.
I'm a minute late getting out the door!

4:43 A.M.
I still have the Mormon Tabernacle Choir playing on the radio from yesterday. Eh, might as well leave it. Can't hurt to start the day out with a little spirituality... man, this guy in front of me is flying! I'll just follow him through these city streets... it'll help me get to the freeway a little quicker.

4:44 A.M.
Cruising up the freeway... my fast escort is getting off at the next exit. Bummer! I love following other people who speed to avoid getting caught myself. I need to slow down anyway... I'm getting into the good ole' I-80 construction zone.

4:45 A.M.
Huh... that's funny! There's a line of Highway Patrolmen on the other side of the freeway. I wonder what happened there so early in the morning. Probably nothing newsworthy, so I don't need to worry about reporting it to work before I get there.

4:46 A.M.
Let me just take one more look in the rearview... there are like 5 cops out there! That's a lot for what seems to be nothing... oh we.. *BAM*

4:46:30 A.M.
I just barely turned my eyes back to the road, and suddenly I'm airborne! Literally 2-3 in the air! What the heck just happened? *CRUNCH*

4:46:35 A.M.
I'm back on the ground... my car starts fish-tailing! I correct the swerving three times before I get back into control, but I can tell I've got serious problems! I slow down really fast, there's smoke coming up from the front of my car! I slowly change lanes... there's nowhere to pull over in this construction!

4:46:50 A.M.
This is about as good as it gets... a small part a little off the road. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and get out of the car. I walk around front... and my front bumper is GONE. I look down and I'm walking through some kind of liquid... but I only have a few moments to look at it before I realize something even scarier...

4:48 A.M.
I look down the road to try and see what I hit... only to see another car swerving to miss whatever it was... but that car loses control, fishtails, and slams into the barrier. Another truck swerves to miss that car, and hits whatever debris is there... that's when I realize I'm in a really stupid place on the road! I quickly move as far away from my car as possible. I'm not about to get plowed by a out of control semi-truck!

4:51 A.M.
I call police... they send a trooper, but not one of the ones just down the road. This one actually comes from 25 miles away (he makes it in 10 minutes)

5:05 A.M.
Trooper Allen pulls up behind me... he already took care of the "thing" in the road.
"What was it," I ask.
"It was a big, like, tractor tire just sitting in the middle of the road," Lt. Allen says.
A TIRE? How did a tire send me flying into the air?

6:00 A.M.
The tow truck gets there. I get my police report, figure out a ride to work, and my car is loaded up. Anti-freeze is all over the road... my bumper is long since gone... and right front tire is absolutely annihilated. Turns out, all the other cops over there were for some guy who was slamming into the barrier about a half hour before I drove by. I wonder if THAT'S where the tire came from?
I finally understand what Garfield meant in all those cartoons I read as a kid. I hate Monday!!! I never should have gotten out of bed this morning... maybe my car will be totaled and I can just get a new one!

I'm fine, by the way. No injuries... and I feel pretty confident that they will be able to link that tire to the other accident, that way my insurance doesn't have to cover it. In the meantime, I'm cruising around in the biggest truck I've ever driven! A Toyota Tundra! (They didn't have anything smaller at the rental place, except a mini-van with bald tires... yeah, I just can't do that).

The only good thing out of all this... my accident last Monday enticed me to change my insurance coverage, lower my deductible, and add rental car service Thank heavens for divine inspiration! Who would have thought leaving my emergency brake off last Monday would save me a fortune today?

Not me. And Vyquitoria Walkashequa might be dead and gone... we'll find out soon...

Sporatics Sports Allegiances

2008-10-02T05:29:00.000-07:00

I've lived outside of my homeland of Ohio now for over 7 years... and while I am adamant about my devotion to the sports teams at THE Ohio State University, I regularly baffle my friends and colleagues about the other teams I pledge my allegiance to...

Well, I thought it might be fun for me (and hopefully for you) to learn how a regular guy from Columbus came to like teams from literally ALL over the country... starting from my earliest years...

The National Basketball Association:
While my true years growing up were in Ohio, all of my earliest, clear memories of life on the earth start while living in Phoenix, Arizona. I remember how much I wanted to go to a professional sports event, and I eventually decided I really wanted to go to a Phoenix Suns game. My reason? I saw the Suns "Gorilla" mascot on TV and thought he was super cool!

On April 22, 1991, my eighth birthday, I remember opening the envelope with the tickets... I remember getting to our seats... I remember how small everything looked... and I remember the first time the Gorilla made an appearance. He dropped down from the rafters, and at one point, slam dunked the ball off a trampoline. I only remember who the Suns were playing because my dad reminded me... it was the Los Angeles Lakers (by no coincidence, this was also the first day I started hating the Lakers).

Midway through the third quarter... I got tired, I got cranky, and I couldn't understand why the 20,000 people in the arena were being so loud, so I begged my dad to leave. The Suns from came behind to win the game... but all I remember is waking up once on the drive home as my dad cheered while listening to the radio broadcast.

The next year, we lived in Ohio, and the Suns made it to the NBA Finals... and having that link back to my former home, solidified my love for the Phoenix Suns, Charles Barkley, Kevin Johnson, and yes, even Kurt Rambis.

What you might think:
The Cleveland Cavaliers - Seriously? The Cavaliers were terrible until the onset of Lebron James. And I ain't no bandwagonner.

Major League Baseball:
It was just six months later that I found my baseball team. The Diamondback didn't exist yet, BankOne Ballpark (a.k.a. Chase Field) was just barely under construction. I traveled up to Orem, Utah, with my family to visit my Granny. I remember two nights distinctly where I sat in her kitchen watching on a small TV as the Minnesota Twins made their way through the ALCS and into the World Series.

I remember how excited my dad was... I remember how, later in October, the Twins and the Atlanta Braves went back and forth... I remember almost every game... and I remember Danny Gladden scoring from third base after a sacrifice fly, and fans in the Metrodome exploded in excitement as the Twins took the World Championship!

Behind Ohio State, I am most passionate about the Minnesota Twins... probably because they are the only team I have been able to witness win a championship (I was on an LDS mission during OSU's 2002 BCS Championship run).

What you might think:
The Cleveland Indians -or- the Cincinnati Reds - I'll admit... I actually like both of these teams. It's harder to like the Indians because they are division rivals with the Twins, but the Reds are my National League team. Too bad I missed their heydays in the late 80's and early 90's.

Collegiate Sports:
I didn't really have a team by the time we moved to Ohio in 1992. I had always been interested in BYU football, thanks to my alumni father, but back then before the internet and extensive cable TV, Arizona was far enough away to not be able to follow them closely. I'd never really given any thought to Arizona State or Arizona.

I had to choose quick upon arrival in the Buckeye State... BYU and Ohio State played in the Holiday Bowl in 1993. I actually chose to root for the Cougars in that game, but to no avail. The Buckeyes came away with a 28-21 win that night.

I still had not been fully converted to any other team but BYU by the time the 1997 Rose Bowl rolled around. I was still hanging onto my love for the desert when ASU and OSU faced off in that game, and once again, I bet against the Bucks... and was wrong. Jake the Snake couldn't overcome David Boston, Joe Germaine, and a Buckeye team that should have gone to the national championship.

That game solidified it. By the time the OSU/U of M game rolled around in 1998, I had given in and joined the ranks of Buckeye Nation. Ohio State won that year (the only win of John Cooper's tenure) but I was fully devoted. Though I still have never attended a game in the Horseshoe, and I never attended a single class at Ohio State... I bleed scarlet and gray.

Were Ohio State and Brigham Young to play each other now... I'd think a little about who had more on the line... but ultimately, I would most likely root for Ohio State 85-95% of the time.

What you might think:
I think this is the only team that makes a lot of sense... which is why people tend to wonder why I don't like other Ohio teams...

The National Football League:
I've never really been super high on the NFL, and I still enjoy a college game 10 times more than the pro game. But while I am a Minnesota Vikings fan, I truly do not recall when I decided they would be my team. There was no epiphany, there was no "moment of Zen"... I do remember my dad always wearing this one Vikings sweatshirt... and I can talk up a good storm of team history from the last 10-15 years.

I shuffled around for awhile... the Phoenix (now Arizona) Cardinals and the San Fransisco 49ers (Steve Young connection)... but I ultimately chose Minnesota to carry on family tradition.

What you might think:
The Arizona Cardinals -or- the Cincinnati Bengals -or- the Cleveland Browns - I mentioned the Cardinals... I'll be excited if they can ever put together a season. I'm alright with the Bengals, but they're terrible, and they challenged the 49ers when I was cheering for Steve Young. The Browns were one of my least favorite teams after moving to Ohio actually, given certain acquiantances of mine.

The National Hockey League:
HAHAHAHAHA!!! If I HAVE a team, it's the Columbus Blue Jackets. The only hockey game I've ever seen was on the third row of Nationwide Arena. But I don't.

Etc...
I've grown to love most sports... except soccer. If the Columbus Crew were ever good, I'd want them to win the MLS. But they suck.

So that's the story. It's a long one... but at least now I don't have to explain it every time I talk to someone... I can just give them the link to this post!

Thoughts of a Simple Newsman

2008-09-29T18:50:00.000-07:00

The "Media" gets blamed for a lot of things. Maybe some of it is justified, but I feel a great deal of it is partisan blather. I like to think I attempt to break those negative stereotypes, and given the current economic situation, I'm trying to stay impartial.

I don't want to be one of those blamed for inducing panic among the general public regarding the recent activity on Wall Street. I don't want to have people look back and think that I was in some way adding fuel to the fire that is everyone's fears right now. The phrase now made a "hiss and a byword" by Fox News is truly my goal... fair and balanced coverage.

But let me set aside my idealistic news mantle... and express some things I have been thinking about this past week. These words come as an average idiot who simply does not understand what is going on in the economy right now.

Seriously, what the hell? I am so confused! I mean, I understand to some extent what the problem is... it's Paramount Equity and all their sub-prime lending morons... they've put the market on a pile of pick-up sticks and all it took was for one stick to shake the stack and CRASH!

But what I am referring to is the aftermath. One day, everything is great. Then suddenly a bank collapses. Everything seems to be fixed another day. Then the "terrible two-year-old"-like Congress gets into a bickering match, fails to take any action, points fingers at each other, complain over petty disputes, and the market bombs in the meantime.

Take some action, you incompetent, worthless elected "officials". I am so tired of it!

I sat in my producer's seat today at 11:30, piecing together my show. I look up to see the results of the House vote on the latest version of the economic "bailout" package... and when it became clear it would not pass... I watched the Dow Jones drop 400 points right before my eyes.

I sat in shock... my jaw literally dropped to the floor. Of course, I had to pick it up because we then had to go into "breaking news" mode and throw together as much as we could regarding the disaster.

Our worthless government. This isn't the President's fault... this isn't even the fault of the latest in a long line of do-nothing Congress'. It's a culture of corruption, deception, and disgrace that long outdates even some of the oldest Washington insiders.

But with all the talk of "change" out there, we Americans are desperate for SOMEONE to keep that promise. It hasn't, won't, and will not happen under the status quo.

Barack Obama is NOT the solution. The President can only do so much. If I had my way, I'd white wash the whole damn system. I am ashamed of the way things work in this country sometimes. We are the most powerful, the most blessed, the most fortunate people in the world, but we're stuck voting for self-righteous, pompous morons who think they're some kind of celebrities. They think they're entitled to do whatever they want.

I, for one, am fed up. I don't typically curse in my writing, but I am angry. I am mad. I am frustrated. I want something done, and I want it now. Is the bailout the answer? I don't know! I am not an economist! But when I hear that the reason for NOT passing a plan that appears to be the best solution thus far is because of some moronic partisan bicker-fest, my blood just boils!! Get over your blasted party lines, you buffoons!

And people ask why I am not aligned with a particular party... pfft! Petty bickering... when we face one of the biggest crises in my lifetime.

Listen, I'm a sports guy. I don't typically get worked up about this stuff.

I am so irate! This mess weighed on my mind so heavily today that I got out of my car after work and forgot to pull the emergency brake. Yeah, to make a bad day even worse, my car rolled away and smashed into another parked car... while I was inside.

"Officer! It's not my fault! I blame the economy!"

Think I can claim that in the economic bailout? Sigh...

Volatile!!!

2008-09-26T05:46:00.000-07:00

Let's break this down...

The Big Ten is weak. I've come to terms with it.

The PAC-10 is weak... being called the PAC-1 and the nine dwarfs, with only one ranked team left.

The Mountain West is stronger than it ever has been, with three ranked teams.

But the most amazing, yet hotly debated, part of college football is the ranking system, and let's take a look at how this week could shake up.

Two weeks ago, OSU is just dominated in shameful fashion at the Colesium in LA by the USC Trojans. The formerly 5th ranked Buckeyes drop 8 and 9 spots in the two top polls.

Eastern Carolina beats two ranked teams, jumps from unranked to 14th... and then loses to lowly NC State and drops completely out of one poll, and down to 23rd in the other.

But now... the PAC-1 faces more trouble! What will happen to USC? They go on the road into hostile territory in Corvallis, Oregon, and lose... in embarrassing fashion! (Sound familiar, Buckeye fans?) Of course, the main difference between the USC loss and the OSU loss is that Ohio State was playing 2-0, highly touted, #1 ranked USC! Not the 1-2, bottom feeding Oregon State Beavers! The same team that got absolutely trounced by Penn State, who, let me remind you, is in that terribly weak Big Ten Conference.

The Beavers kill USC, but most likely will come to Utah next week and lose convincingly to the Utes. So does that make Utah better than USC? Not necessarily... if those two teams lined up against each other, I'm convinced Utah would get steam rolled.

In previous years, I'd think that USC wouldn't drop out of the top ten. But it used to be that if #5 lost to #1, no matter how terrible, they wouldn't drop far either. The polls are more volatile this year than ever before. Normally I'd predict a drop to #8 or #9, but this year... who knows? USC could drop into the mid-teens! (and frankly... they should!)

It's almost like trying to predict the weather... a lesson in the Chaos Theory and unpredictable matrices. What a mess!!

This is why we love college football... there never has been and never will be a good way to rank, judge, and gauge so many teams.

Yet we like to speculate... if my teams beats another team by one on the road, and your team annihilates them at home... that makes your team better than my team, no matter what happens the rest of the season!

Schizophrenic, two faced, mind-blowing college football. Gotta love it!

Wanted: Quarterback

2008-09-18T12:41:00.000-07:00

WANT AD:

Looking for someone who can fulfill my wildest fantasies. I'm SWM, br. hair, bl. eyes, professional; athletic build, fun-loving, responsible, caring, passionately devoted. ISO TQB (talented quarterback) young, strong leader, eager to learn. Must be mobile, but careful with the ball. Must be capable of completing a pass. Willing to hand off the ball to phenom tailback. No lurpy, awkward, or self-entitled candidates please. Prefer someone who wants to win Nt'l Chmpship or Super Bowl. Pls call anytime: Minnesota Vikings Front Office (651) VIKINGS or Ohio State Athletic Dept (614) GO-BUCKS.

What does it TAKE to get a decent quarterback these days?

After leading the Indianapolis Colts by 15 headed towards the fourth quarter, the alleged "future" of the Minnesota Vikings, Tavaris Jackson, failed to come close to completing a good pass for a first down repeatedly. So what did Peyton Manning do? Lead the Colts to three scoring drives and win the game on a last second field goal to win 18-15. Not to mention, the Vikes didn't score a single touchdown... that was all field goals.

After impressing with the long ball for most of last season, Ohio State gunslinger Todd Boeckman proceeded to sit on his thumbs for:
1) the biggest rivalry game in the history of sport, OSU v. Michigan
2) a BCS National Championship game against LSU
3) Two "gimme" games against pathetic opponents
4) and finally fall flat on his face in Los Angeles against the USC Trojans in one of the most embarrassing losses in recent OSU history!

Well, looks like I'm not the only one noticing. Brad Childress has officially benched Jackson, opting for the old, reliable Gus Frerotte for the remainder of the season. (it's a trend... failed attempts with the up and comers, leads to falling back on the old geezer, i.e. Frerotte, Brad Johnson, Randall Cunningham, etc.)

Jim Tressel, during his latest statement in ongoing saga of Beanie Wells, was mum on the topic of starting quarterback. Allow me to interject my advice... FOLLOW BRAD CHILDRESS' LEAD! Boeckman benched... and most likely start freshman Terrell Prior... or heck, even Joe Bauserman at this point.

I mean, all these guys have to do is establish a stable passing game so running backs like Adrian Peterson (single game rushing record holder) or Chester Taylor, and Beanie Wells (when he's healthy, a Heisman candidate), Brandon Saine, or Daniel Herron can bust out huge games. Peterson had over 150 yards in a losing effort last week! Shameful!

Well, at least I got BYU and Max Hall (271 yards and 7 TD's against UCLA... which is, by the way, the fewest yards he's thrown for all season). You can almost always rely on the Quarterback Factory to come through.

Simmer down now!

2008-09-18T04:45:00.000-07:00

(Can you tell my favorite time of the sporting year? Oh yeah... college football!)

What a week for the Mountain West Conference! In the 10th year since it's inception... with eight of the nine teams playing, a record of 7-1. But not only that. They swept their PAC-10 foes 4-0!

BYU 59, UCLA 0
TCU 31, Stanford 14
UNLV 23, (formerly ranked) Arizona State 20
New Mexico 36, Arizona 28

They deserve a lot of praise! Quite the accomplishment for a young, regularly-overlooked conference (stuck in a television contract that kills their national exposure).

BUT...

Let us not jump to rash action. As I expected, the talk this week around the conference was immediately, "We demand respect!"

Woah, woah, woah... hold your horses. It's ONE week. Just one.

Respect comes from years of established dominance. It comes from consistency. It comes from beating teams outside of the "USC and the Nine Dwarfs" Conference.

Don't get me wrong... it's an important step towards making headway in the already talent depleted pool of West Coast college football. As much as I hate to admit it, until you cross into the Mid-West, there isn't a football team that has been as consistently dominant and recognized outside of the USC Trojans.

Look... I don't mean to diminish a very significant weekend in MWC football. I just want to make sure we keep it ALL in perspective.

Maybe when TWO MWC teams break into the BCS, I'll be a little less wary...

But until then... just relax, enjoy the wins, and don't taint it by getting into a hissy fit argument that has very skinny legs to stand on.

National Embarrassment

2008-09-14T17:39:00.000-07:00

I'm not your typical Ohio State fan. Most people in Columbus are quick to turn and start the blame game after a loss. Just ask John Cooper (although after 10 years of losing to Michigan, I think he actually deserved it now) But it's fairly normal for many Ohio State fans to lose their cool and become fairweather.

But what I saw on Saturday... I'm ashamed. I'm embarrassed.

Early in the week, I heard some scary rumors. I heard the Buckeyes had no swagger, I heard they had no confidence. It seemed that without Beanie Wells, the Bucks felt their chances were below absolute zero.

And with that attitude... they were right.

Granted, you don't just replace a Heisman Trophy candidate running back... but he's one player out of over 22 that take the field in any given game.

I worked that night... I knew the score as I drove home. I felt good! 14-3, and USC had just scored. I thought we still had a chance! Eleven points is nothing to shake a stick at...

Then I got home and turned on the TV... and saw the look in the eyes of every Ohio State player. Doubt. Fear. Resignation. The look that a wild animal gives when it knows the lion has it in its grasp and there's nothing it can do... (thank you Animal Planet for that little tidbit from which to draw an analogy)

It was shameful! I rewound the DVR, and sure enough, that same look was in their faces the entire game. They tried to mask it early on, but the disguises came off when they failed to score a touchdown and settled for the field goal on that first drive.

They gave up. There was nothing left. They just laid down and let the Trojans sink the sword of death in their hearts...

They showed the entire nation... yes, you are right. We are soft. We didn't deserve to be in those national championship games. We are overrated.

I didn't expect a win. I did expect them to put up some kind of fight, though! I optimistically predicted a 21-16 USC victory.

It would have helped to know that the whole Buckeye team had been replaced by my junior high, second-string team.

I know they are hurting right now, but frankly, as a Buckeye that bleeds scarlet and gray through and through, they deserve what they got. They gave up before they ever got there.

I take nothing away from USC for absolutely dominating OSU... it was a legitimate win, and they are most assuredly the best team in the nation right now. But I am sure they, too, were hoping they might have SOME kind of competition.

Let the ridicule come. All you OSU haters, just throw more fuel into that fire. I became numb after the third national championship loss in two years... I can't feel the pain anymore. In a way, I'm glad... get us out of the spotlight for awhile... and let us all lick our wounds.

Columbus... it's time to face the music. It's time to truly mourn. Pull down the barriers, stop the arguments. We need a break... well, I do. I will never forsake my Buckeyes... but I'm tired.

P.S. Time for Todd Boeckman to go...

By Popular Demand - Tossed From Ward Softball

2008-09-11T05:05:00.000-07:00

Yes, the rumors are true. Actually, they're probably not even rumors, I've been trying to tell everyone because I find it absolutely hilarious.

I, Paul McHardy, became the only person in my church softball league to be thrown out of a game. At least, I think I am. I sure have been treated that way! I suppose if you're familiar with many different LDS Church sports programs, it could be rather surprising that I am the only one (they made a movie out of church basketball... not a good one, but still)... but alas, it is true.

My team has butt heads with a certain umpire since very early in the season. For the sake of taking the higher road, I won't go into the reasons why... just know she already disliked our team.

We were simply annihilating the team we were playing that week... taking an early lead. So after the first 1 1/2 innings, she broke a cardinal rule of umpiring... telling the team you are changing how you call the game.

"I'm just going to call anything hittable a strike, otherwise we'll be here all night."

That's fine, at least she was telling us. Going into the last inning, the score was 19-1, so I was preparing for a laid back at-bat. I didn't want to wear myself out for the next game. The girl in front of me had struck out three times before, twice on a called third strike by our "favorite" umpire.

Well, she did it again. Only this time on a ball that was clearly not a strike. In the spirit of trying to make sure everyone had fun, I initiaited a dialogue. I shall attempt to quote the conversation as it went:

(Calmly) "Oh come on, that's the third time you've struck her out on a called third strike tonight. That wasn't even in the strike zone."

(There's a very well defined strike zone in slow-pitch softball. It must be about 5-6 feet on the arch, and hit an orange mat behind the plate. This pitch clearly hit the front of the plate)

Ump: "That was a strike. Here's where it hit," pointing to a round circle cleared of dirt on the plate where the ball hit after it bounced.

Me: "Well, I saw it hit right here with my own eyes, but whatever." I set up in the batters box ready for the pitcher to toss the first pitch.

But it was not to be. The umpire stood about two feet to the side of the plate, staring at me for a good 10-15 seconds. I just faced forward, ready for the pitch... trying to move on from the argument.

Ump: *HEAVY SIGH* "I am SO sick of you guys," under her breath as she walks back behind the plate.

And then came the comment that got me tossed... I couldn't help it! How unprofessional can you get with that sigh and whining?

Me: "Good. You should be sick of us. Call a consistent game and you won't have any problems."

BAM! I knew I should have shut up, but weeks ago I decided I didn't care what this girl thought of me.

She said she wouldn't continue the game until I was gone. I stood there smiling and laughing a little to myself. I turned and walked to the dugout, set my bat down, and went to sit in the bleachers.

This whole thing happened so subtly, my whole team was baffled because they couldn't hear any of this exchange. I just sat there, laughing about the whole thing... and then played in the next game, hitting an in-the-park homerun and having a blast out in the outfield.

So there you have it... the only person to be thrown out of a ward softball game in our stake. Thank you... and goodnight.

The Call, the Block, and the National Media

2008-09-08T04:12:00.000-07:00

(*Editor's Note* I am a BYU fan and BYU graduate. But I am a journalist and pride myself on leaving allegiances at the door. In the following opinion, I strive to maintain that integrity)

I've had enough. I can't read anymore, I can't hear anymore, and I can't watch anymore.

Saturday afternoon, an epic battle took place between Brigham Young University and the University of Washington. It has now become the most debated game of the entire football season thus far... and I think it's absolutely absurd the way the Cougars have been treated.

I'm a realist. I know that BYU should have put the game away much sooner, and had Harvey Unga not fumbled on the 1 yard line, it would have been that way. I won't even go into the argument about the Pac-10 officiating crew... for anyone who watched the entire game and has the long-term experience as a fan of a non-Pac-10 team playing at Pac-10 venues... officiating by these homer umpires is consistently terrible and biased. Forget the monster hold on 3 and 19 that kept Ian Dulan from sacking Jake Locker...

Let's just focus on the touchdown play. Yeah, BYU should have never allowed them in that position... but Jake Locker was clutch on his feet down the stretch, and put Washington in a position to keep the game as close. He kept it as interesting as it had been the entire 59 minutes and 58 seconds prior.

But for anyone to deny what Locker did after crossing the goal line is absolutely irresponsible. Locker stood up, took the ball from his left, put it in his right hand, and hurled it up into the air. Distance into the air does not matter, whether he threw it 10 feet or 50 feet... he threw the ball into the air.

I've read at more than one site that Jake Locker simply flipped the ball behind his head... that ball went straight into the air and he was able to celebrate with two teammates before the ball came back down and hit him in the arm. To say anything other than that is inexcusable.

Mark May has never been my favorite college football commentator... but he showed his true colors that night. He was vehement, he was incredulous. How DARE they throw that penalty flag? How DARE they make that call at the end of the game? Mark May hates BYU. He hates Cinderella's. What does he expect the officials to do? Change the rules at the end of the game just because it's the end of the game?

Lou Holtz, normally a lovable guy, fell victim to it as well... he tried to say Locker was just raising his arms in the air and the ball happened to be in his hands. Watch it again, Lou. I'm sorry, but he threw that ball.

The only thing that did was eliminate the two-point conversion. It may have been win or lose anyway... the BYU defensive line blew through the Huskie O-line to block that kick, and it would have been blocked from 35-yards, 25 yards, or even 10 yards.

The best argument I have heard so far... it was a good call, but the rule is bad. I can accept that. Am I the only one who remembers how strict the celebration penalties got back at the beginning of the decade? If you did any more than a high five while running back to the sideline, the flag was thrown. At least we're not at that point anymore.

Why does the media hate BYU? Is it the 1984 championship and the "Bo-Diddly Tech" comments? No... I hate to say it, but I believe it has a lot to do with religious affiliation. I'm not one to throw that around lightly... I typically hate that fall back... but I can't seem to find any other reason.

Utah busts the BCS and they become the media darling. Utah beats a mediocre Michigan team, who may I mention, barely got past Miami (Ohio) yesterday, and it vaults them into the top 25. Utah struggles against bottom-feeding UNLV in the first half yesterday before blowing them out (as they should have done from kick-off to last second)... but they are still the cream of the MWC crop.

So the anti-BYU attitude can't be a Mountain West Conference thing... if it were, why does everyone love the Utes so much? It's okay if they win... for some reason they are more legit than BYU.

Maybe it's Ty Willingham... he's a guy everyone wants to see succeed. Maybe it's the Jake Locker hype. He's been called the future of quarterbacking...

In spite of the final numbers on the scoreboard, the Cougars drop 3 stops in the AP poll. What's the point in winning anymore? What's the point of playing a tougher conference if every win is called a stroke of luck? Outrageous.

I am ashamed of the national sports media. It can be very discouraging to be a Cougar fan.

Oh, by the way... the Cougars are blessed with more Pac-10 officiating at HOME when UCLA comes to town this Saturday.

Satan vs. Lucifer

2008-08-29T12:49:00.001-07:00

It's a no win situation. It's six of one, half dozen of the other. It's like choosing between pumpkin pie and white chocolate... I'll puke either way.

My two most hated rivals are playing each other tomorrow. Utah and Michigan. The Utes and the Wolverines. How do I say I WANT one of them to win?

But in the interest of providing debate... I will do so.

And I choose... M*ch*g*n. (I can't spell it out when I'm taking their side)

The only other time I've wanted them to win... their bowl game against the Flori-Duh Gay-dars last season.

Why? Well...

If Michigan wins, it won't matter. They're expected to win. They're the Big Ten team, the perennial national powerhouse, the home of Bo Schembechler! They have the greatest rivalry in sports history with my all-time favorite team, THE Ohio State Buckeyes!

If Utah wins, I never hear the end of it. Utah fans have an eternal inferiority complex... they are fickle, they are weak. They have an undefeated season and beat a pathetic Pitt team in Phoenix and they are suddenly the cock of the walk. Please. They beat a rebuilding, young, and unknown Michigan team, and it starts all over again.

It's bad enough BYU fans aren't the best in the world either. Try getting a "white out" or getting them to stay the whole game, or to actually get INTO the game instead of socializing the whole time... forget it. I will be the first to admit that BYU fans can be rather lame...

So... mark your calendar's folks... you will most likely never hear these words from me ever again.

Go Blue!
I feel dirty... and it won't come off...

That's What I Get!

2008-08-12T05:09:00.000-07:00

Not TWELVE hours after my last blog posting about the Beijing Olympics (which I meant and still stand by) I learn some things that just irritate me more about China...

The cute little girl in the red dress who sang a song during the Opening Ceremonies... yeah, lip-syncing. Not a HUGE deal... but the real problem is that it wasn't even HER voice she was lip-syncing to... it was another girl!! Apparently she wasn't cute enough...

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I understand quality control, but it's just the way they went about choosing it all. You can read their justification here.

Another thing that was a little annoying, but I suspected was the footprint fireworks that lead up to the stadium. It looked a little suspicious while I was watching them, but I was right... the actual imagines on television were animation. The producers were worried they wouldn't be able to get a good camera shot on it as it happened, so they fed this fake stuff down.

I know you want everything to look good, and frankly the efficiency of the whole ceremony was amazing... so I suppose it can be expected they did a few things to control things.

Quality control. Ultimate control. That's communism for you.

I Got A Fever...

2008-08-11T15:33:00.000-07:00

And the only prescription... more OLYMPICS!

Yeah, I know I told a lot of people that I wanted nothing to do with the Olympics. I was of the persuasion that the whole China thing was a disgrace... and I still feel that there are a LOT of things about China that REALLY bug me. Human rights, working conditions, safety regulations, communism disguised as capitalism, etc, etc. I supported the torch protestors, I wanted an Olympic boycott, and when I see their "President", he just makes me sick.

That said... the opening ceremonies were absolutely breath taking. Chinese ingenuity, creativity, and just... all out flash... I got emotional during the Salt Lake Winter Games because of their significance to me as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints... but I got emotional again. That brave little kid next to Yao Ming as the Chinese entered, and Yao, who I have an enormous amount of respect for... heck, Kobe Bryant even impressed me, seeing HIM of all people caught up in the moment.

If the production wasn't enough, the torch lighting blew me away. Wow.

So the guy who wasn't going to watch anything Olympic related TiVo'd the USA Men's Basketball team beat the living tar out of China in their first game... I've found myself watching handball... and I jumped out of my bed cheering when the 4x100 Free Style Relay team beat down those stupid, dirty, trash-talking Frenchmen.

GO USA!!

But above all else, what has really humbled me is the pride that the Chinese people have in these games. Forget the government, the bizarre, unethical way they oppress their people, and, in my humble opinion, limit their God-given agency. The Chinese PEOPLE are genuine, they are real, they are pure, and they absolutely could not be happier to have the games in their country.

These Olympics are for them. They love their country, their people, their ethnicity, their unity. Is there better out there for them? Yes. But without the world reaching out to them, how will they ever know it?

I feel almost ashamed for being such a harsh critic of the location... of course, I want the Americans to win their events... but I want so much for the Chinese people to win as well... and I think they will.

Can't Handle Success

2008-08-11T04:23:00.000-07:00

Why? WHY?

Twice in the past month, my Minnesota Twins have been on the cusp of taking a good lead in the race for the American League Central Division... and then they go to Kansas City.
KANSAS CITY! Yeah, the Royals! The 10-year laughing stock of the AL! After making their patented early second half run, the Twins have jumped at most one game above the Chicago White Sox, beating the likes OF the ChiSox and the Detroit Tigers.

But the inevitable... head to Kauffman Stadium and somehow they throw away that lead. They just can't handle success! It kills me. They are a 1 1/2 games out of the wild card race, and they are competing against TWO AL East teams... so it's the division, or it's no playoffs.

This could be the year to make the playoffs too... the Twin-killing-Yankees may not make the post season this year.

Let's go Twinners!!!

Why America Is Great

2008-07-21T05:51:00.000-07:00

This may not be what you were expecting, but hear me out.

Soccer is a joke. And Major League Soccer (a.k.a. the MLS) is an even bigger joke.

The ReAL Salt Lake soccer team currently occupies the #1 spot in their division today... the first time in their young history. That should be fantastic news, right? Wrong!

Currently, RSL has a record of SIX wins, SIX losses, and SIX TIES!! The only place where this earns you a first place spot anywhere else is the NL West in baseball. But with those six ties, they have enough "points" in the arbitrary system used by MLS to determine who is the best team. In the eastern division, the best team has nine more "points" and is 10-4-3. Now THAT'S a winning record. And two other teams in the east have better records...

Seriously, soccer is the ONLY sport where a tie is still considered a good thing. College football got the idea years ago... NOBODY likes a tie! Even the MLB All-Star game wouldn't end in a tie... they played 15 long innings to determine a real winner!

Soccer is lame. And yet it's the world's most popular sport. Which is why I submit... the world is lame. America is the greatest nation in the world! We've got baseball and football! Why should we have to try and conform to the sport the rest of the sub-awesome world is in love with?

Well, we don't. That's why America is great!

Soccer sucks. Who wants to play 90 minutes of a sport only to end up "high-fiving" at the end, saying good job TYING US??? Boring.

I would feel cheated. As a fan, as a player, as a sports connoisseur to go to a game and leave without a definite winner.

Just because the rest of the world is doing it, doesn't mean we need to, America. Just because everyone else fell to the Nazis... just because most of Asia went Communist... just because Europe is on a pathetic socialized medicine plan... just because half the world is at war over family relationships... doesn't mean we need to start doing the same thing.

Do the right thing, America. Either we start finishing EVERY game like the do in the World Cup... with a shoot out... or just say no to soccer!!

Darn It All to H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

2008-07-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

That's about all I can muster for this... after all, this IS a family blog!

I can't believe the thought ACTUALLY entered my mind this week... I thought I MIGHT not mind if I were to ever get a job and move back to Provo again. I mean, my brother lives there, and it's been a blast being able to hang out with him and play some good b-ball and such... but WHAT WAS I THINKING?

Well, I was cured. And no, my medical insurance did not cover it. I went to freakin' Stadium of Fire last night... huge firework display from LaVell Edwards Stadium.. Miley Cirus was performing, Blue Man Group... we didn't see any of that because there's no way on this green earth I'd ever pay money to support another daughter being whored out for profit (You heard me, Billy Ray). Anyway, the fireworks were actually pretty good (still not Red, White and Boom, but good) and it seemed like I'd had just a great day.

Well, then I woke up the next morning. And my car was gone.

No, not stolen. Think about it... Provo, don't live there... yeah, some D-Words towed it! It's FREAKING SUMMER, people! Like we're hurting for parking!! On top of that, they were towing RIGHT after the fireworks ended!!

The cost of the prescription to cure me of ever wanting to live in that God-forsaken place again? $135.69.

Oh wait, no, it was $132, but of COURSE, there's a 3% surcharge for those of us who don't carry around $130 IN CASH!!!

There are a lot of things I could say... but this is how I will end... first of all, I am fully cured of my desire to EVER live in that horrendous town again.

And two... every time I visit there, no matter how much fun I have or how many good experiences come about... I always come back hating it more than I did before.

I guess they're just following the one of the scouting rules of thumb. Scouts leave their campsite better than you found it. Provo leaves makes my hatred stronger every time I visit.

I hate Provo, Utah.

Easy Ways to Get Happy

2008-06-22T18:07:00.000-07:00

Alternate Title: "Happiness is a Warm Gun"... except for the whole shooting something thing...

I've have been blessed to have very few reasons not to be happy lately... maybe it's a frame of mind (because there are things I could definitely be frustrated or sad about) but I consider myself lucky.

I was sitting today with absolutely nothing to do, and I didn't want to waste away my Sunday watching television... so among other random things, I got the sudoku book off my shelf that I used to help me survive my traumatizing trip home for Christmas (which I realize I never blogged). Anyway, solving a sudoku is something that really cheers me up! Like really solving, not cheating and looking in the back!

So I thought I'd list just a few little things that I use to cheer myself up when feeling a little down. Feel free to join in, I am sure we could all use some suggestions:

1) Cleaning. When I am in the right mood, there is nothing I enjoy more than a little manual labor around the house because it just looks so AWESOME when I'm done (I'm very thorough)

2) Along the same lines, organizing things. There is nothing that sets my mind more at ease than having all of my belongings and living space well organized. Give me a moment of Zen.

3) The OSU fight song. Had to get that in... but it really does. There is no bad mood that blasting the Buckeye Battle Cry can't fix.

4) Making 10 free throws in a row. To get my mind out of a funk, I'll just go shoot free throws. When I've made ten, I know my mind is back in control, plus I've accomplished something that a mental block usually prevents me from doing.

5) Incubus. Rock out!

6) Reminiscing. Actually, sometimes this deepens the hole. It just depends on what I am thinking about, but I'll get out my photo albums and my folders of history stuff and just look through them and laugh my head off. Of course, I have to keep myself from throwing some of it away because I am embarrassed, but oh well.

7) Grilling a freaking awesome steak. Perfectly marinated, just the right amount of time on the grill (medium... accept no substitutes), with amazing mashed potatoes. BUT don't take comfort in food! This is a delicacy, not a suppressant!

8) Exploring. Get on my bike, or in my car (bike more often these days) and just go exploring around my part of town. I did this a lot as a kid, riding my bike all over Pickerington with a map, something to drink,... occasionally stopping a friend's house. I don't know if it reminds me of that, or if I just like knowing where I live.

9) I hate to admit this one... but shopping. Serious. I'll just go get a nice new hat or pair of pants... or just roam around making a mental inventory of something I should get when I have some expendable cash. (Wow... okay there it is... it's out in the open)

10) Finally... the temple. It's sometimes the hardest one to get myself to actually do, but when I go, the next few days, if not the next week at least, are just amazing. You think knowing that would make a lot less harder, but alas, the weakness of the flesh.

These are just random... I am sure I have more, but just on my mind!

A Boy and His Car

2008-06-19T16:26:00.000-07:00

I'm a MAN!! Get it right!!

Oh, sorry... I didn't see you there. Hi! Welcome. This is the story of a bo... MAN and his car. See, sometimes you just have to upgrade. Such a phrase is the brunt of many a burn... but I mean this in a good way.

But when you upgrade... you must get to know one another. And so, I took her on a road trip. (She is yet unnamed... I am waiting for figure out the right name... you can't rush these things!) We went to Vernal, Utah.

Why Vernal? I really don't know. But she drove like a dream, and got me there and back all on one tank of gas, which is all I can ask for! Here are some memories from our first Saturday of bonding.

(This is the long way of saying, "Here's some pictures I took on a spur of the moment road trip out to Vernal and Dinosaur National Monument.")

Life: So Close, Yet So Far

2008-06-11T17:47:00.000-07:00

I'm at an interesting stage in life. I realized it as I sat in the chapel on Sunday.

Things should be just absolutely fantastic for me right now. I just graduated college, I have a full-time job in my chosen profession, I am getting involved with my peers and creating new social networks, and I have Tricia in my life.

But it's not all a bed of roses. In fact... every single one of those things I just named... they're all "almost there". Almost to exactly where I want to be. But not.

1) I graduated college - Talk about a huge step in life! What an amazing accomplishment, a huge relief, and something I am extremely proud of! However... not only had I gotten used to the highly scheduled and hectic schedule of full-time school and work... but I always envisioned getting the #%$& out of Utah as soon as I did. My mailing address is Salt Lake City.

2) I have a full-time job in my chosen profession - Before I gripe about this, let me say how lucky and blessed I am to even HAVE a job! Given the current status of the economy and the experiences many of my peers have had in the job hunt... I shouldn't complain. So I'm not... I'm merely stating. I work for KSL Newsradio, I am in broadcasting, and I have worked here for two years gaining invaluable experience. But... at the end of April I was laid off from the job I LOVED: working on a fun, entertaining program with great friends... to getting up at 3:50 a.m. every day, dealing with certain employees I am not fond of, and dealing with an extremely higher amount of stress. SO close... but so far.

3) I am getting involved with my peers and creating new social networks - I've known a church calling was coming. A few weeks ago, I felt really strongly about it and the need for me to actually get to know the people I attend church with. I got my calling on Sunday. I'd been hoping for Sports Co-Chair on the Activities Committee... well, close. FHE Co-Chair. Granted, it's not my last calling of Ward Prayer Co-Chair (which I never did) but still... OH so close, but not quite there.

4) And finally... I have Tricia in my life - If you are new to the last two years of my life, this might be news to you. I technically have Tricia... but she's "incommunicado" on a mission in Philadelphia. No phone, no email, just letters and tapes for another year, 2 months, and 16 days (who's counting?) I still hope to end up married to her... but not yet. So close...

I recognize that I have been extremely blessed over the last number of years. Now, I think the Lord is saying to me... it's time to just wait and endure until He's ready to bless me with the next stage of life.

That doesn't mean I'm not always looking to improve my circumstances! (Five more resumes out in the mail tomorrow...) :D

Meeting Mitt Romney

2008-06-01T16:46:00.000-07:00

I knew he'd be there... I was told the day before. See, one of KSL's talk show hosts is celebrating his 30th anniversary this year, and so all week we've been surprising him with special guests. Sean Hannity visited with him (ugh), the Mormon Tabernacle Choir recorded a "Happy Birthday" song for him... etc., etc.

We had professional intentions for cornering him. He met with John McCain the day before in Arizona, and everyone wondered if they talked about the Vice Presidency.

I talked one of my gracious co-workers into letting me hold the recording device as everyone asked questions, and she offered to stand back and take photos of me during the interview. (Hence the photo here)

However, it's against all common journalist ethics to ask for a photo with someone you are interviewing, especially when it comes to politics. You always try to maintain a sense of professionalism, as well as impartiality, through your reporting.

Yeah, well... I'm a producer right now, so I said forget that!

PLUS... my Grandpa McHardy has a couple of pictures on his wall that I wanted to be a part of... one is my own dad with General Schwarzkopf and the other is my dad's brother with... some other famous political figure... so I wanted him to be able to add a third generation McHardy son to the wall. (well, that was my justification)

Becky Bruce, the afternoon executive producer, did for me what I would not have asked for myself... before Mitt Romney left the building, so asked if she could take a picture of him with me... and so we did. I shook his hand and thanked him, and then went back to work.

I did not NECESSARILY support Romney as he went through the primary elections. I voted Obama for two reasons:

1) You have to register as a Republican in Utah in order to vote in their primaries, but you do not have to register to vote in the Democratic primary. I refuse to declare a party, even if I can remove my name immediately afterward. I wanted to vote... and I figured any way to help keep Hillary Clinton as far away from the White House, the better... so Barack Obama it was.

2) Even if I had registered Republican for the day... Mitt Romney was going to win Utah by a landslide. He didn't need my vote. If he had made it to the general election, we might have had a different story. But one less vote for him in Utah wasn't about to hurt him.

So... there you have it. I met Mitt Romney. It was pretty cool.

The next day I saw the Presidential motorcade drive by our building too! What a week!

Transition Period

2008-05-27T04:36:00.000-07:00

I hate this time of year...

Nothing to do with the weather or anything else... but it's another one of those transition periods in my sports calendar.

I'm done with the NBA... 1) It was emotional enough for me this season with the Shaq-Marion trade and D'Antoni leaving; and 2) I hate 3 of the 4 teams left in the playoffs, including BOTH Western Conference teams.

The Major League Baseball season is too young to really matter... and I don't live near MY or ANY baseball teams.

NHL Playoffs... okay, I actually really like hockey, more than I ever have before. However... watching broadcasts on Versus is painful, and I am just not into it enough to really care about the Stanley Cup. Besides, I feel like somehow if I do get into it, I'm justifying the worship of Barry Melrose that runs so rampant at ESPN.

MLS... "Major League" Soccer... ummm... sorry, let me clear my throat...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

And of course, there's Arena Football. Sorry... the team in Utah is terrible, and my last experience at a game was... sub-par.

I'm TRYING to find something to fill the summer, but it's hard have 5 months of great sports stuff and then nothing great until late August when football starts again and the baseball playoffs begin!

I'll survive, but in the meantime... I'll just to play tennis outside instead of watching others getting exercise!

And... sorry... I just have to say it again... MAJOR league... soccer... major... get it? Hahahaha!!!

A Couple of Updates

2008-05-26T07:26:00.000-07:00

Just a few things to update you all on from recent posts...

So that D I got in my Sociology class? The consequences were much worse than I ever realized. Not ever expecting to get such a terrible grade, I did not even consider the effects it would have on my tuition reimbursement. I have been blessed to receive 2/3 reimbursement through my employment for awhile... but the grade has to be at least a C. Thus, 3 credits were not reimbursed, so I lost like $250 on top of my pride! Sigh...

The car is sold. Gotta love when you can sell something on your own and get $3000 more than a stupid dealership would give you!

And I appreciate the feedback on the motorcycle. I still haven't decided, but I think I did make a mistake in mentioning my idea to my missionary. I am awaiting rebuke (something most missionaries excel in).

And finally... Happy Memorial Day. Thank you to my friends who have served the country, and to all those, whether I know you or not, who have died in defending this Great Nation.

To Bike or Not to Bike

2008-05-22T06:54:00.000-07:00

Ever got an idea in your head and you just can't stop thinking about it?

So you all see I am trying to sell my car... but I am seriously considering buying some sort of motorized bike to get me around this summer. I originally looked into motorscooters... having to suppress my pride with that idea. But the more I explored my options (and told people what I was considering) I realized that an old motorcycle could be just as practical.

BUT... what about the dangers of a motorcycle? In the news today is an increased number of motorcycle fatalities already this year!

AND... I can't even tell you the arguments I'd get in with my mom about getting a moped or motorcycle when I was a teenager.

PLUS... the current girlfriend (though not here to stop me currently) is adamantly against motorcycles for personal and family reasons. So I'd face quite a hailstorm upon her return from the mission field.

However... I can get a pretty good bike for the same price as a 150cc scooter... and I won't look like a total doofus. In addition, I plan on attending a motorcycle safety class where they will not only TEACH me to ride (minor detail) but will give me a full blown certification for rider safety. I will never get on it without a helmet... and frankly I doubt I'd ever take it on the freeway.

And can you imagine the gas I'd be saving? Gas prices are headed to over $4-5 a gallon!

I feel like I am typing the exact conversation I had with my mom back in high school... but I guess I need some... support(?)... or advice(?)... I'm not entirely sure.

But I'd really like a motorcycle. Good idea? Bad idea?

Parting ways...

2008-05-09T14:22:00.000-07:00

The time has come. It's been a long time... and she's been really good to me.

It's always hard to say goodbye... you become a part of one another. You grow to love one another.

You hurt when they hurt. You love when they love. You smile when they smile.

But one day, you just wake up... and you know the time has come. You have to break ties... part ways...

You have to sell it.

Yep, that's right... I have decided to sell my beautiful Toyota Celica. I bought it almost two years ago, and it's been one of the best cars I have ever had in my life (which means I am including the cars my parents owned as well... because this is only my second car)

I bought it as a commuter/bachelor vehicle. We had some great times... it was even given the nickname "Camp Fire" after a failed attempt at hauling firewood out to a campsite to make S'mores.

It was a tough decision... but it's time for me to get a more practical car.

SO... if you or if anyone you know is interested... my 2000 Toyota Celica has 106,000 miles on it... 75-85% are highway miles. It gets about 30-34 mpg on average between city and highway. Power windows, power locks, a/c, cd, HD-radio, iPod input, manual transmission... I've kept up on maintenance and never had an engine issue. New tires in Jan-Feb. I'm asking for $8000 or your best offer!

Goodbye Camp Fire!

Intro to Sociology + Senior Year = DEATH

2008-05-07T07:01:00.000-07:00

So I graduated college at the end of April. It was a huge accomplishment for me, but it was really hard to get there during the last semester. Because I was SO efficient at getting my required classes completed for my Broadcast Journalism major, I was forced to take a bunch of electives during the Winter 2008 semester.

BORING!

But a word to the wise... when picking B.S. classes to fill credits, Intro to Sociology is NOT easy. At least not the class I took. At least not... with my level of motivation. Yes, I skipped class a lot. No, I didn't read ALL the assignments. And no, I wasn't totally prepared for my exams. But the fact remains... DO NOT take it when you're slumping through college Senior-itis!

My grade? D. Not even a D+! I did NOT expect that. I thought for sure I had landed at C- and I still have no idea how it happened... I came THAT close to failing the last class I needed to graduate college.

The nice thing is that I don't care... it's a passing grade. Hurts my GPA... but again... I don't care! My diploma is in the mail!

And yet STILL... I have NEVER received a D in any class at any point in my entire life. It's kind of embarrassing. And yet I am blogging it... I even feel somewhat ashamed and guilty!! I knew I was slacking... but a D???

Conflicting emotions... not caring, but damaged pride. Maybe I should just delete this... (and since you're reading this... you know what I decided)

Not with Nightside... Still with KSL

2008-04-30T14:26:00.000-07:00

Life has a way of throwing some interesting pitches sometimes...

Five weeks ago, I was casually asked to come down to my boss' office where, after 10 minutes of not knowing exactly why I was in there, I was told I would no longer be needed on the Nightside Project. It totally caught me and the rest of the crew off guard, but a change in format to the show eliminated all of my responsibilities (pre-production, pre-recording, on-air execution, on-air performance, webmaster, etc.) in one fell swoop.

The news came just four weeks before my graduation from Brigham Young University. So I found myself on the opposite end of the graduation experience as the rest of my collegiate peers. I was employed full-time in my profession for the last two years of college, and found myself job searching upon graduating. My cohorts may have had jobs, but not full-time... but they were looking for jobs long before the last weeks of school.

I had three weeks to look for a new job. I was left with the quandary of whether it was time to leave Utah... whether to leave broadcasting for awhile... I considered moving home to Ohio... I applied all over the country. I had strong leads in Arizona and Los Angeles... but nothing panned out.

After nearing the end of my tenure with Nightside (my last day was April 18th), the job hunt had been less than successful. $80 in postage, packaging and CD-ROMs, and plenty of resumes later, very few responses. The only real response I received raved about my resume, audition tape, and work ethic... but was sad to inform me he didn't have any full time positions.

A few days after informing me of my termination, my boss at KSL called me into his office again to encourage me to apply for a position in the newsroom. I hesitated... and later declined. It was for a number of reasons. However, after the second time he sat down with me and strongly encourage me again, I figured I really ought to put more thought into it.

I interviewed for the job... and had my exit interview within an hour of each other. However, after almost a week of unemployment... I was offered the position as assistant producer for Utah's Morning News with Grant and Amanda. . I will also be the executive producer of the Noon News at 12:00pm. Talk about a change in schedule... the alarm goes off at 3:50am... I start work at 5:00am every weekday morning... and try to go to sleep before 9:00pm

It's an exciting opportunity, with a million new skills and valuable lessons to be learned. I am hoping I catch on quickly and avoid huge, embarrassing, detrimental mistakes. If I don't... look for me buried in the shrubs outside Broadcast House. ;-)

So... still in Utah... still at the same station... still good ole me... the only thing that has changed is my level of educational attainment!

I'm awesome.

(Thank you so much to everyone who has helped me... not just in my job search, but throughout school, and especially over the past two years as I juggled full-time work, school, and "other" responsibilities. I could not have done it without you.)

Happy Birthday, College Grad

2008-04-22T23:31:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to me! Too bad someone didn't let the Phoenix Suns know. Oh well...

It's been awhile, but I am happy to announce that not only am I a quarter century old now, but I am also a college graduate! At 7:25 this evening, I turned in my last final exam, shook the professors hand and congratulated him on administering me my FINAL exam ever... and walked out.

What a freakin great feeling!! Knowing that if I so choose, I never have to walk into another collegiate class ever again.

My parents come into town tomorrow... I go through the graduation stuff on Thursday and Friday... and that's it, man. BYU Football and my brother living in Provo will be my ONLY motivation to make that wretched 40-minute commute.

Of course, college graduation comes with its uncertainties... still looking for employment, still sick after three weeks, don't know if I'll be in Utah by the end of May.

Head down, pedal to the metal, and all those cliches.

Bad Photo, PDA, or Sexual Predator?

2008-04-10T20:02:00.000-07:00

Tim Duncan... coppin' a feel on Amare Stoudemire. What a VERY unfortunate photo.

Oh yeah, and the Suns kicked the Spurs all the way back to the 1930's!
(where their style of basketball belongs!)

Snoop Dogg Becomes Mormon, Fo Shizzle!

2008-04-04T12:17:00.000-07:00

Okay... I couldn't resist. This was such a HUGE things we did on the Nightside Project this week... what a classic April Fool's Joke.

Someone texted this link in to us. Just read it... try to find the signs that prove it is a hoax site... it's tough, but you can. Unfortunately, of course, there are a lot of people who are convinced there is some truth to this. I am sure we'll hear this for years to come.

P.S. I just noticed they even made a People Magazine mock site to try and confirm it! HA!

Hey, hey, hey! Goodbye, Isiah!

2008-04-02T11:39:00.000-07:00

Isiah Thomas best be throwing his resume around this week.

The New York Knicks finally wised up to what even NON-Knicks fans have known for a few years... Isiah Thomas is a disaster. They officially hired Donnie Walsh as the President of the organization.

As for Thomas, Walsh says he will "wait a few days before deciding on Isiah Thomas' future with the organization".

Isiah... if you can't read the writing on the wall... you're not worthy of the semi-Biblical name you have.

For the sake of sport and the NBA, it's a move that absolutely must be made.

Ain't Got, Got, Got No Time

2008-03-31T11:05:00.000-07:00

No time for new blogs... spent the entire weekend shirking my collegiate duties in search of new employment. One of these days I will get around to posting the update, but as of April 18, 2008, I will no longer be with the Nightside Project.

Any connections, suggestions, job information, or anything of that nature would be greatly appreciated. Thanks everybody, for your thoughts, prayers, and advice!

Politics V. Sports

2008-03-27T14:51:00.000-07:00

Later this year, the Republican Party will hold it's National Convention to officially choose their presidential candidate.

Later this year, the National Football League will kick off another awesome season of the greatest sport in America (especially when it's of the college nature).

A bunch of great events happening this fall.

The only problem? They are slated to happen on the exact same night!!

Luckily for those of us who care... the season opener will still happen, in fact, it will be moved up an hour and a half from 8:30 EST to 7:00 EST.

WHEW!!! First Arlen Specter... if John McCain had messed with my football, I would have had to make a special trip to Washington, D.C.

Hot or Not?

2008-03-26T08:23:00.001-07:00

Speaking of NBA Rookie of the Year...

Pau Gasol then... and Pau Gasol now.

Yikes.

NBA Rookie of the Year

2008-03-26T08:12:00.000-07:00

Who is it this year? Should there even be one?

Greg Oden never played. Kevin Durant was good, but he's on the Sonics. Mike Conley, Jr., wasn't impressive enough. Joakim Noah was part of the Chicago implosion. Corey Brewer made nominal impact.

The player who has made the greatest impact on his team (and on a decent team) would probably be Luis Scola of the Houston Rockets. Of course, he's 27 and played professional ball in Argentina before coming to the NBA.

Maybe Glen "Big Baby" Davis of the Boston Celtics?

I know you don't have to be on a good team to win Rookie of the Year. Chris Paul proved that. But he made that team better and now a playoff contender.

Kevin Durant will probably win it, but should he?

With such a large class, it's sad there isn't more potential for the prize.

Pet Peeves: The Drive Thru Soft Drink

2008-03-25T14:35:00.000-07:00

Every now and again, I am asked about my pet peeves, and I can never remember all of them. I usually go with the stereotypical "bad drivers" response (especially having lived in Utah for 4 years now).

So to alleviate my forgetful mind, I turn to the "Pensieve" that is my blog. (You can thank Harry Potter books for that reference)

Today's pet peeve: the soft drinks you get at fast food restaurant drive-thru windows.

You might wonder why something like this would make the list. Well... think about it. Have you ever worked at a restaurant? If not, it is a well known fact that one of the cheapest wholesale items there is the soft drink. It costs anywhere between 3-7 cents to fill a 20 oz. soft drink cup. That's for the syrup, the water, AND the carbonation. Tack on a few more cents for the cup... so we'll call it 15-25 cents.

How much are they charging you for that drink though? At most places, between $1.19-1.79. That's at least a 600% mark-up!

But that's okay. We want our drinks, and we're used to paying for it. HOWEVER, I am NOT paying for ice. You can't drink the ice... it only takes so much to keep your beverage nice and cold... it waters it down if you don't consume it fast enough... and chewing on it is horrible for your teeth!

So why must I beg... no, plead... nay, SCREAM for the moron at the drive-thru window to restrain themselves from filling my cup 2/3 full of ice. This turns a 20 oz. drink into 14 oz. of ice and 6 oz. of that expensive carbonated beverage they serve.

Here's an example. Wendy's - a common culprit. And this is after asking for "easy ice".
My thumb shows where the ice comes up to (after emptying the cup, plus a little melting)

I guess they thought if they put a little piece of lemon in my drink, I wouldn't get as upset!!

Again, 2/3 ice... so I get 1/3 drink... 2/3 of 5 cents saves them roughly 3 pennies. However for ME... I am getting 1/3 of $1.39, or round about $0.46. Need I do more math? (Please say no; my head hurts already)

I am NOT ordering ice. The last time I checked, you can usually get a cup of ice for FREE!!

Please give me my DIET COKE!

Fouled Out!

2008-03-24T08:10:00.000-07:00

I heard the most ridiculous argument on the radio this morning as I drove to school.

Some basketball "experts" want to eliminate the "five fouls and you're eliminated" rule (in the NBA, it's six of course). They argue that this rule gives an unfair advantage to one team when the other team's star player fouls out. It is also worse for the fans because the player they came to see can no longer participate.

Their solution? After a player gets five fouls (or six), the opposing team gets two shots and possession of the ball after each foul given after the limit.

The voice of reason in the argument said (rightfully so) that this was the stupidest idea. His sole argument was the nature of the fouls given after the limit. He said that the player would know the end result of any foul given, so he would simply beat the living crap out of the ball-handler, resulting in blood and gore on the court.

Such was the argument between Eric Kuselias and Mike Golic on "Mike and Mike in the Morning" on ESPN Radio today. It was one of those arguments that make you, as a listener, yell at your radio, wish to get on the phone and scream at how stupid the opposing viewpoint is! (or at least for me)

Eliminating the foul-out rule is just stupid. Not just the concept, but their reasons as well!! First off, who cares what the fans want to see?! If a player is stupid enough to get FIVE fouls, they deserve to be seating on the bench. You'd think after two or three they'd get the hint that what they are doing is not allowed. Boo and hiss all you want, "fans", but that's what happens when your player illegally impedes the play of an opposing player.

As for the "unfairness for the teams", I simply refute this claim without need for explanation. Any and all arguments I've heard are just stupid. Roy Hibbert fouled out of the Georgetown loss to Davidson last night... so whine and complain that the best player wasn't able to play in the final minutes of the game, but he should not have fouled FIVE TIMES!!!

Yeah... other teams might strategize on how force fouls on opposing players to their advantage... that's part of the game.

Yeah... there's the occasional call blown by the referees, but AS a referee, mistakes happen and you move on. They try their best and at almost every level, there is no means of singling out any one player or team. It's against the code of ethics in officiating. Despite popular belief, ultimately, very few games are lost by means of bad officiating.

It's all part of what makes basketball great. Especially collegiate tournament basketball.

Who am I arguing against? Not just Kuselias. Dick Vitale called in and agreed with him. Stephen A. Smith called in and agreed with him. A few others called in and agreed with him.

Goes to show you how much basketball "experts" really know.

Besides, I fundamentally hate both of those guys anyway. Two of the most irritating and obnoxious sports commentators in the business.

I know I'm right, but what do you think about the proposed rule change?

BYU Cougars: The Ultimate Underachievers

2008-03-21T13:23:00.000-07:00

I knew it would happen.

I called it before the tournament ever started. In fact, it was in my mind as the Cougars entered into the MWC Championship game last Saturday.

Plaisted was ineffective and in early foul trouble, Tavernari started slow and was lax on defense, Cummard had a good, but barely good game, and it was left to Fredette to pick up some of the slack.

Offensive rebounds were detrimental in all 3 of the Cougs conference losses, and though the final count showed them pretty even in this match-up, second chance points were absolutely killer in yesterday's loss to Texas A&M.

After all the accolades, the conference player of the year awards, the most wins in a season for the school, where is this team now?

Think about it? Really, was there any improvement at ALL?

Nope, they're exactly where they were last year. Out of the tournament in the first round. An eight seed falling to a nine.

Regular season conference champions who couldn't seal the deal in the conference tourney, while the team they lost to marches through the first round.

The exact team everyone outside of Cougartown thought they would be... a team that collapses when it matters most.

The team with no NCAA Tournament wins since 1993.

But that's life as a Cougar fan... you're stuck wishing your team would show up to the big ones. They've recently figured out to win big conference games more consistently, but move them outside of Provo, out to the "bigger conferences", and GASP, in front of a large television audience, and they're like little kids in a candy store with no money.

They stare, they drool, and they walk out with absolutely nothing.

It's not just the basketball team either... BYU football is just as guilty. I'm not just a bitter BYU fan who endured three losing seasons with Gary Crowton... I wasn't here for those days of misery. Coming from the land of the Big Ten, I'm essentially an outsider looking in.

Even under the strong leadership the legend himself, LaVell Edwards, the Cougars went 7-15-1 in bowl games. They'd win the WAC on a regular basis... but put them on the big stage (if you can call the Holiday Bowl the "big stage") and it's all over.

The Miracle Bowl... a comeback from a blow out... the 1984 National Championship team stuttered and stammered against Michigan until last minute magic. And the Cougars one Heisman Trophy winner Ty Detmer finished his record setting season being pummeled by Texas A&M 65-14 (yeah, okay he was injured, but the facts remain).

Two bowl games in a row over the 6th ranked PAC-10 team, to me, is not showing big-game-prowess. It's not a even trend. If you remember correctly, the big win over Oregon began with a scoreless first quarter, and a slow second. The Cougars beat UCLA the next year literally by a pinkie-nail. The miracle blocked kick was, once again, last second desperation.

So I guess BYU is the team you invite for last second, unprecedented miracles, but that doesn't gain respect. It fuels controversy.

Until BYU teams decide to show up and play well in big games, I have no sympathy for my fellow Cougar fans, who whine about an 8-seed, or complain about the BCS being prejudice against MWC teams.

We deserve it. I don't know why it happens, but put a bunch of Happy Valley Mormon kids under the spot light, and they melt away like Popsicle in August in Atlanta, Georgia.

Donovan's Done... Again

2008-03-19T19:11:00.000-07:00

Only this time, he's calling out the team instead of trying to walk away to the NBA.

His Florida Gators failed to make the NCAA Tournament and he's called them out for "lack of effort" to end the year.

This coming from the guy who bailed on his team for the NBA... the shortest-lived stint in the NBA you can imagine... only to return LESS THAN TWO DAYS LATER begging Florida for his job back.

Nice try, Billy. Yeah, I hate Florida... but he could be Vanderbilt's coach (or any other team I couldn't care less about) and it'd still be a shallow move.

I wouldn't care about playing for him either.

Washed Away

2008-03-18T09:47:00.000-07:00

The girl I love... the one I want to marry... the one who has been my friend for over a decade... she left me a few weeks ago. She left to spend a year and a half in Philadelphia serving a church mission, completely separated from the outside world as she focuses on the works.

Though not my first choice in how the next few years of my life would be spent, I found it hard to discourage such a worthy and worth-while goal (though I definitely tried at first). I owe all of my emotional, spiritual, and physical strength to the two years I spent in the same service in North Carolina.

But this sacrifice away from her hasn't come without price. Lifestyle change, social-life change, losing the constant companionship of my best friend has been hard. Journal entries just don't fill the need for the comfort even a simple phone call every night can offer. And with graduation, financial burdens, and an uncertain future ahead of me, it's comfort I desperately long for.

Never does the United States Post Office mean more to you than when you're awaiting a letter from your missionary, not even when you're expecting a big, fat tax return check. My box had been pretty empty for three weeks, and consequently, so had my heart.

But last night... I came home after a long day of school and work to find not one, not two, but three letters on the table awaiting me!!! If I had been home, I could have kissed the mailman! (okay, not really... he's a rather big guy and I'd like to live through retirement) They were apparently all sent on different days, but they arrived all at once. I sped off to my room to enjoy each letter one by one.

After soaking in all the beautiful, wonderfully inked words, the last letter held even more in store for me. Tuesday morning (today) she would arrived at the airport around 4:30 a.m. for her flight to PA and she wanted to call me.

"Please let me know if I can call you or if I should just let you sleep."

I had no way of letting her know!!! I turned my ringer to full blast and prayed with the fervency of desperation that she would know I would never turn down a phone call!

She knows me so well...

4:24 - the phone rings, I answer with "Hello?" and hear one word... "Hey!"

With that one word, all my worries, my fears, my stress... washed away. Not just forgotten... but washed away completely. Maybe this is just a fleeting feeling, but the peace and comfort of hearing her voice, even after a relatively short period of time, offered me all I could ever hope for in solace.

We talked for what seemed like moments before she had to check in at the airport... but it was enough. She thanked me for being so supportive... I tried to convey, in my frustratingly limited way, how much I love her. And then she was gone.

But those few words... that voice... lifted me higher than I have been in a very long time.

"Defense"less in Seattle

2008-03-17T08:03:00.000-07:00

116 point in a regular season game in the National Basketball Association is pretty good. Very few teams have ever averaged anywhere near that, much less score that high often.

Of course, 116 points isn't all that impressive... when your opponent scores ONE HUNDRED SIXTY EIGHT!!! Yes,... 1-6-8... 116+42!! I have a hard time scoring that many points when I play a basketball video game set on easy mode!

The Seattle Supersonics went from next to dead and suffering, to beyond death... the absolute laughing stock of the league. The Denver Nuggets dropped that many points on them last night, marking the third highest number of points pounded on a team in regulation time in history!

If the Sonics players weren't depressed enough already... can you imagine? I've been down on the dismal display in Miami this year, but the Pacific Northwesterners are not far behind.

Maybe the Nuggets were just rebounding (18 years later) from the 173-point decimation they faced at the hands of the Phoenix Suns back in 1990... maybe the Sonics thought it was a replay of the defenseless All-Star game...

Or maybe they're ready to move to Oklahoma City.

Wow.

Lull Before the Storm

2008-03-14T07:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, actually it's not even a lull... March Madness is in FULL force, and I am officially getting my DirecTV FINALLY installed before the first game (at least that's the hope). Time for me to officially rescind my dedicated study habits and watch a whole lot of basketball!

(Side note: I was contacted by an interesting web service. They've reviewed some of the best equipment to make your March Madness binge much more enjoyable. They're Retrevo.com and this is the direct article. Now maybe they'll hook me up with some swag!)

So... are your teams in? Are they going to go anywhere? I'm halfway there.

BYU won the first game of the MWC tournament, blowing out Colorado State after a rough first half. Now they face San Diego State who they've struggled with this year... one blow out loss in SoCal and a close win at home. After that win (yes, they will win) it's most likely UNLV who basically plays this tournament at home. If they win the conference, I see the Cougars as a five seed in the West. They could actually make the Sweet 16 at that seed!

Ohio State is not looking promising, though they've put up a fight down the stretch. The defending "runners up" (is that even a legal designation? I don't like "first losers") pulled out huge wins at home against two of the Big Ten's top teams Purdue and Michigan State in their last games of the regular season. Now they absolutely must beat MSU again in the semi-finals of the conference tournament to get in. If they do, most like a middle seed: 8-11.

And then UNC. No question. Not a team I'd normally consider one of "my" teams in the past... but I cannot deny my given allegiances any longer. I served a church mission in North Carolina for two years, lived there another summer, I hate Duke with a passion... and top it all off with my second cousin being designated as "Player of the Year" by numerous groups and having his jersey retired at the end of the season.

That's right, Tyler Hansborough's grandmother is my grandmother's sister! I can deny it no longer, I have a little bit of Tar Heel blue running through me! (I have a lot of colors in my blood)

Are your teams in? Who do you have going all the way?

Deep Into the Night

2008-03-12T23:15:00.000-07:00

I hope you'll allow a little personal indulgence today... or this morning... whatever time it is.

The past two weeks have been some of the longest I have experienced in quite some time. I've had late nights, super stressful situations, but I've tried to make the best out of it. I've done a lot of re-evaluation. There's been a lot of retrospective analysis of my life up to this point.

Unfortunately, it's mostly just given me even LATER nights, weirder dreams, and a lot of indecision, but it's something I think everybody needs to do now and again. Without really paying attention to ourselves, how can we ever expect to know much about anything else.

I'm far from ever complaining about anything in my life. I am tremendously blessed and fortunate where I stand right now. I have the perfect job for any college graduate, and I've been at it for almost two years now. I have a wonderful family, great situation... but I don't believe anyone is ever finished improving themselves.

I'm starting to have a lot of time on my hands these days. More than I'm used to anyway. Many of you know why, and those who don't... just take me at my word. I don't know whether it's a blessing or a curse... but after two weeks of poor sleep and a brain that won't shut off... I'm conflicted as to which is worse...

1) Being really busy all the time with very little time to think

- or -

2) A lot of time to really think about life, which leads to worrying, wondering, etc.

I'll let you know when I figure it out.

The Proverbial Bubble

2008-03-12T12:11:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year... teams who struggled all season long fight to keep their seasons alive. While mid-major conferences fight for their ONE spot, conferences like the Big Ten and SEC look to land a 4th or 5th team in the tournament.

Ultimately, there is always some controversy. The decisions have become more mathematical than building a super-highway or a massive skyscraper.

I don't claim to understand entirely how it happens... but I thoroughly enjoy the week before "Selection Sunday" (man, we sports people and our creative alliterations). Fans all over the country rally around mid-major conference championships, some pulling for the underdog, others pulling for the expected winner so their team isn't bounced off the bubble. Besides, who could complain about even more college basketball exhilaration?!

However... maybe I'm a cynic, but seriously, can we come up with some new catch phrase for some of our favorite events in March? "On the bubble" and "March Madness" I personally literally get this picture in my mind of these players grouped together sitting outside of a soap bubble... I'm kind of weird like that.

I guess we really only end up using these once a year for about a month's time, so I should just get over it. But I'm grateful we only use it so sparingly.

The last thing people need is another cheesy catch phrase to carry over into every day speech. "You know what I'm sayin', bro?"

Home of the Chicago Cubs - Snickers Field?

2008-03-11T15:53:00.000-07:00

That's right... the Cubs are shopping the naming rights of now Wrigley Field.

The stadium needs renovations, and Wrigley could end up writing the check to do it... but rumors abound!

Fans are furious, baseball enthusiasts are floored... but are the rumors true? Here are a few articles.

Still Studying Naming Rights

Wrigley Hysteria Out of Left Field

Sport Agency Might Make Offer

I'm as big a fan of history and tradition as the next "SJ" personality, but I think this might be another step to the complete overhaul of Cubs nation that could result in finally winning them a World Series. Don't be so stuck in the past Cubs fans,... the past isn't very bright.

Abandon Ship!! Oh, Wait a Sec...

2008-03-10T12:13:00.000-07:00

I can honestly say, I've never been more happy to have an article idea completely squelched.

I sat listening to the radio broadcast of the Phoenix Suns and San Antonio Spurs yesterday afternoon... and I was very discouraged. 1 for 11 from 3-point range, the foul disparity, and just... like many who have been paying attention to the Suns, I expected the worst after their recent 3-6 run since acquiring the Diesel from Miami.

But then... Duncan couldn't hit. Parker was shut down. Shots were blocked... DEFENSE was played! I couldn't believe it. In the end, Phoenix pulled out a close, under-100, defensive struggle over the defending NBA Champs, not to mention the team that they brought Shaq on to battle with in the first place.

It's their second victory over the Spurs in the regular season this year. Granted, the first time, the Spurs were riddled with injury. But the statement was made. The gut check was met. The must-win was won. The experiment worked.

Still, only 40% of the time it has worked so far. But it worked!

The way things looked around halftime, I felt the ever increasing pressure to abandon ship. Steve Kerr and Mike D'Antoni looked like absolute fools. It isn't Shaq's fault, but the team had no defense and no... spirit!

But this victory changes things. It doesn't make everything perfect, and it will still be tough. But at least now they have something to build upon. They can get some swagger back, some confidence, and look forward with hope...

Now they just have to stay in the playoff race, and hopefully get out of sixth in the West.

Moving On... Silently.

2008-03-07T07:38:00.000-08:00

How did I miss this? How many times have I ranted and raved about this on the Nightside Friday Night Sports Blitz, and I'm just finding this out today?

I've been somewhat irritated and frustrated by the attitude in the Chicago Cubs clubhouse the past few years. Particularly with two pitchers... the saviors of the North Side... Mark Prior and Kerry Wood.

Yesterday, I'm cruising the headlines and find this:

"Prior Gets New Lease on Life From Padres" with this picture of Prior in a San Diego uniform.

WHAT? Can it really be true? Did the front office hear my pleas? The Cubs did not offer Mark Prior a new contract at the end of the season, and he silently slipped away to Southern California.

I was floored. Seriously, I hope I'm not the only one that let this slip past me. For month, years even, I have been pleading with the Cubbies take all their eggs out of the Wood/Prior basket. Both guys have been seriously injured over the course of their young careers, Prior even more so than Wood.

And yet every year, without fail, "Prior Watch" would begin. Die hard fans would wonder when their superstar ace would recover from whichever injury he now had and return to give some legitimacy to their seemingly blind devotion. Anyone who couldn't see the inevitable was exactly that, though... blind.

I'm not a Mark Prior hater. In fact, I think he's got great potential, and I am sure he is a very good person. I don't think he was avoiding pitching or afraid to fail or any of the garbage spewed from the sports writers in Chicago. Bottom line is he's just injury prone, and for a franchise with as much money and as much loyalty from its fans, they had no need to bank on a lost cause.

This just goes into the problem with the Cubs in general. They feign interest in breaking the "curse", they play up the "Bartman Incident" as another example of the curse dooming them forever. The problem is not a curse. It's the ownership, management, and mentality in the corporate office.

What incentive do the Cubs have to really push hard to win a World Series? They already have what that trophy could never bring them alone. Millions upon millions of loyal, died in the wool Cubs fans. Two of my best buds in Utah fall into this category. UTAH. Why? They could easily be Rockies fans and be less disappointed than they always are... but they hang onto the hope of millions of others.

The infection, the corruption, starts from the top down. The players aren't to blame, but they take all the heat. Mark Prior foremost.

But not now. He's still on the DL, but he's out of Chicago. No more pressure, no more false hope. I'm happy for him... and I am happy for the Cubs.

I'm kind of a closet Cubs fan. Deep down I've had a love for the Cubs ever since 4th grade little league when we (the Cubs) almost won the championship. (Please, don't tell my South-Side-loving Chi-Town girlfriend). Of course, I don't openly admit my adoration often because it's almost cliche to claim devotion to the Lovable Losers.

But maybe, just maybe, changes are on the horizon.

Irish Eyes Are Smiling

2008-03-06T13:14:00.001-08:00

Look at your calendar. What day is today?

That's right, Thursday, March 6, 2008. Now tell me, when do the NBA Playoffs start this year?

Okay, that one's not so easy. Well, I'll tell you, it's April 19th. So an entire month and a half before the playoffs begin and guess what?

The Boston Celtics already clinched their playoff spot. They could literally lose every single game on the rest of their schedule for the year and they'd still be in.

Now, I don't think that's going to happen (in fact, I'm not a betting man, but anyone want to bet me? I bet they won't lose every game... $50?)

But does this say more for the Celtics themselves or the Eastern (or Least-ern) Conference? I think the answer is a mix of both, but that's not where I want to go with this.

I'm normally very opposed to dynasties. In fact, my least favorite teams in the world are/were dynasties: the New York Yankees, the San Antonio Spurs, the Dallas Cowboys, the L.A. Lakers, Duke basketball, etc. However, dynasties are good for one reason and one reason alone.

Every few years in the NBA now, we see a proverbial "Dream Team" assembled. While the Lakers or Spurs are off winning 3 titles in a row, all these other MEGA-super stars are stuck watching from the outside. No title, no ring, and feeling a lack of completeness. With the sun setting over their individually phenomenal careers, they wonder what it would be like to win a Championship.

And that's where it gets fun. The 2005-2006 Miami Heat set the precedent. After adding an aging (but still dominant) Shaq to D-Wade, aging Pat Riley added the likes of an aging Gary Payton, a decent point guard in Jason Williams, an aging Alonzo Mourning was able to play a whole season, and the underachieving Antoine Walker. Together, they took the heat to their first franchise championship, unprecedented due to the Eastern Conference's lack-luster depth.

A few years pass and another dynasty rules the league. But this year, it's fun again. The Boston Celtics were hardly a team to idolize. But now the stars are aligning, literally.

The K-G trade was the biggest of the off-season. Ray Allen joined the club who had been holding onto MVP-esque Paul Pierce since they drafted him from Kansas 9 years ago. Then they kept coming. P.J. Brown, a decent 14 year veteran center, and now... the Trifecta gains a fourth in Sam Cassell.

Boston is stacked, my friends.

I know some of these guys have won it before... but some of those biggest names haven't. Karl Malone tried to do the same thing in his last season, leaving the Jazz for the Lakers in search of that one ring. Unfortunately (for him), he was a year too late.

Now, we wait until April 19th to see where this all takes us.

How Do You Say That Name?

2008-03-05T08:20:00.000-08:00

If you haven't heard yet... the Gun Slinger is hanging up his hat. He's trading in the leather and stirrups for, most likely, a tractor and a fishing pole.

Brett Favre is a legacy. He's a legend. He will forever be immortal in the minds and hearts of Packers fans.

He'll forever be the thorn in the side of fans like me, who watched him torch my Vikings for 15 of his 17 years, usually twice a year.

That said, I can't help but love the guy. For all the reasons that everyone is saying today. Brett Favre had passion. He loved what he did. He played like every game was the most important one, and not in the cliche "sports talk" way.

I remember at the humble age of eight seeing his name and assuming it was pronounce Fahv-ruh. Silly me. I remember the energy, the drive, the determination, the school-yard-kid-like celebrations after every touchdown.

The greatest thing of all... seeing that exact same swagger to his last snap. Favre took his team to an improbable 13-3 record, broke almost every record in the book... and had a blast while doing it at the ripe old age (by football standards) of 38.

Not a Super Bowl, but probably the next best exit after the two terrible seasons before this one.

He IS the greatest quarterback of my generation. Forget Elway, Marino, and Montana... he's the greatest quarterback my generation really got to see begin, develop, and walk into the sunset.

Perfect timing, perfect circumstances... after a fourth quarter, improbable, and underdog year...

I'd be tired too if I were him.

I'm Sorry, Your Answer Is Incorrect

2008-03-04T13:39:00.000-08:00

Two Wins. Four losses.

Tied for fifth in the West.

The Phoenix Suns had to do something this season to try and get over the top and make the NBA Finals, but it appears that Shaq is not the answer.

Five years ago, maybe. THREE years ago, possibly. Today? I'm sorry, Steve Kerr, your answer is incorrect.

No digs on Shaq, he's still a monster of a man, on and off the court. But he was not the missing link, just as Jason Kidd is not the missing link for the Mavs (as the Lakers and Jazz proved this week).

So what IS the answer, oh, Sultan of Sport?

Honestly? I don't know.

Playing some defense might help? That doesn't have to mean losing the offensive panache that makes them so fun to watch... but if it does, I'll take the ring over the "highest scoring team in the league" any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Right now the West is a three way race between the Lakers, the Spurs, and the Jazz at this point. 24 games to go, and it doesn't get any easier.

I'm still holding onto my tiny little root's grasp of hope that they'll pull it out in the next two years. But it's a very small root... in a very dry desert... on a very steep cliff.

Mack Hardy March Madness

2008-03-03T07:11:00.000-08:00

It's a blessing and a curse... I believe this is the third year that CBS will be offering every game streaming online at CBSSportsline.com. If you thought the hype behind the NCAA Tournament every March was intense before, offering the games online has increased it exponentially.

I still remember that first year. I had recently purchased my first laptop. I would take the computer to school with me, and quite regularly would sit in Geology 100 flipping between four different basketball games. After one particularly intense play, I nearly jumped out of my seat and cheered in the middle of the lecture. (I didn't... but I wanted to.)

At work that year,... picture this. I would sit at a desk with a computer working on my daily radio newscast. To my left was a small television and a desk perpendicular to mine with another computer screen. To my right were two other computers on another desk perpendicular to my own.

Naturally, I tuned the television to CBS and logged onto my CBS account online on the three other computers and was absolutely surrounded by college basketball as I "worked" on my newscasts! (I had to fill the four hours each day somehow... it was only a 90-second newscast)

Last year, I worked at my current job at KSL. I work every night, so despite my love for sports, I often have to miss many of my favorite games, or watch them muted.

Lucky for me, my workstation at the sound board was very similar to the previous year. Envision large desk with four computer screens in front of me, a large sound board, my own laptop set up to my left, and four television screens (typically on news stations) in the upper left-hand corner of the room.

Naturally, I tuned the television to CBS and logged onto my CBS account online on the three of the five computers, being surrounded once again by the Madness. (of course, all while running the #1 radio show at night in Salt Lake City)

Am I crazy? Am I obsessed? Am I in love?

I don't know, but I just realized that I really need to get my satellite dish installed at the house really soon.

Do You Smell It?

2008-02-29T11:23:00.000-08:00

I walked outside today about 11:00 a.m. (no, I didn't JUST wake up. I was leaving a class, having been inside since like 8:30) and I smelled it.

It filled my nose, my mind,... my soul.

50 degree temperatures. Partly cloudy skies. Perfect baseball weather.

Wednesday marked the beginning of the Major League Baseball season, albeit just Spring Training.

The smell of the grass, the sun beating down on my head (that should have donned a baseball cap), the cloud of dust from stealing second, the smell of freshly stained leather...

The sound of the a pitch hitting the sweet spot on a wood bat, knocking the ball out of the park, the chatter of the infielders and outfielders, the cleats, the sunglasses...

Hot dogs loaded with every kind of indigestion-inducing topping, nachos, sunflower seeds, 'Big League Chew' bubble gum...

It's my dream, ever since I was old enough to think about it, to go to Spring Training camps. Spend at LEAST an entire week at these small venues, watching the biggest names in the game get ready for the season, and watch the young minor leaguers fight their way for a spot on the roster.

I don't dream on a regular basis... but most years around February I have at least one dream about standing at shortstop in a MLB field, calling out shifts, crouching into position as the pitcher goes into his wind-up, catching a base runner in a run down; or being that base runner stealing third to put me in scoring position, and pulling off a fancy slide into home plate to score the game winning run.

I love baseball. Of any and all my childhood memories, those are the ones I remember most.

OMC's one hit wonder 'How Bizarre' reminds me of the year we couldn't win a game, but we had a blast in the dugout together, and how I struck out Matt Tamanini to keep us from blowing our only tie game of the year (and he'd already hit two homeruns off previous pitchers). I could go on...

But too bad it's February...

And I live in Utah. It's supposed to snow tomorrow. I hate when God teases me with this weather, but I'll take it when I can get it.

Now back to sleep. Maybe this time I'll be the pitcher...........

Star Struck Mack Hardy

2008-02-28T17:31:00.001-08:00

I try really hard not to get totally star struck doing my job.

We've had some bigger names on the Nightside Project. Most of those names are political, but every once in awhile, we get someone that really puts the stars in my eyes.

Tonight on the show, we interview Mike Nelson. If you don't know Mike Nelson, you just aren't cool.

No, I'm kidding. Mike was the head writer and later big star of the hit television show "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and now RiffTrax.com. Couple of dudes sitting around making fun of movies while they play.

I remember the first time I watched MST3K. I was helping my sister babysit a family with like 15 monster children when she showed me what she did to unwind over at their house after the kids went to bed.

The first episode I ever saw was the poor man's "Charlie Angel's" episode. My life has never been the same.

Everybody tries to copycat this. Friends get together and try to MST3K the movies the watch together. If you say you don't... you just don't know who you are copying.

It's a fun interview. Only my journalist friends will know the fool I made of myself asking him my one question (piggy-backing two questions), but hey, I talked to him!

Check it out at the show site and enjoy!